A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HELP ME, im so scared and anxious.im not going to go into my crazy antics here, but i'm just gunna sum it up.i've loved boys forever. wanted to date them, be near them, impress them, make them like me. i formed friendships with guys based on the crushes i had on them, and would end up falling very hard for them. had crushes on them since i was 8, had sexual thoughts of kissing them since i was ten, and eventually got to the age of 16 and started to have more explicit and arousing sexual fantasies. started to notice at 15 that little things my guy friends did would make my heart pound and my whole body flutter and my vagina swell and tingle. at 16/17 I had my first love, and was sexually craving him all the time. dreamed of my prince charming, wedding day, and lifetime with theman who i was meant to find. prayed about it and dreamed of it every day.since i hit puberty i've found girls bodies to be arousing. not in real life ever, but in fantasy or sexual images. i always was insecure about this, and kinda wondered what it meant. i would get sensitive at the subject of homosexuality or lesbianism because i was insecure about the meaning of why i found images of girls bodies to turn me on.i've recently gotten obsessive over this, constantly testing myself, obsessively thinking and panicking about whether or not i will turn into a lesbian. i fear it because if i do i will lose all the thing i love about guys,and ill have to be with girls and whenever i put thoughts into my head of that nature it freaks me out and makes me feel grossed out and i know i dont want it.i just fear that lesbianism is something ive always subconsciously had and one day it will surface. i've never liked a girl or been attracted to one, whereas i've always been crazy about guys in every single aspect.what i fear is i'm never going to like sex (i'm a virgin, and i've had mediocre sexual experiences with scummy mediocre guys), and im scared im never going to like a boy again, and im scared i'm never going to fall in love with one or fall in love and turn into a lesbian.am i going to be a lesbian? am i a lesbian? can you turn into one? and would i have known by now? im 19.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, b90219  +, writes (12 April 2011):
Hi, I know your scared of being a lesbian, but you can't just TURN into one, you're born that way. And obviously if you like guys but find girls attractive, you're probably Bi Sexual, or Bi Curiuos, which is fine. It doesn't mean you ever have to be with girls it just means you sort of like them. Hope that helped:D
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): I have had the same exact feelings! Same exact. I love boys and talking to them but occasionally I think of girls the way you do. Now I've spoken to my mom about it.and of course I didn't go into detail that's just weird. But its super normal. Because as everyone said before we are quiet appealing I mean guys obsess over girls to a point where its truely creepy. Me and you are not gay we are straight with some normal feelings mixed in too :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011): RELAX! All it means is that you're normal. Appreciating the feminine form is 100% natural. At your age even some sexual experimentation is very normal (and would be for several years). Young people often fantasies about same sex encounters, and sometimes try them out in real life. (College is a great place for this!). Many never advance the idea beyond the fantasy level - who knows what you'll do.So, relax... learn about your body, learn what excites you and seek good partners who will love and respect you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011): I think your appreciation of the female form is pretty normal and I think most people (of either gender) would agree, women are more aesthetically pleasing then men in a very abstract sort of way.If you were to engineer or design a women in a purely functional way, we wouldn't have tits and ass. There is an excess in our bodies that evolution for whatever reaosn has decided is desirable. The idea that we collect fat for famine or have wider hips for child bearing does have some truth...but then not why put in all on a hump like a camel? That's the more utilitarian and efficient way after all. Other female animals don't collect fat on the chest, the buttocks, and the hips the way female humans do. And they don't form a distinctive silhouette that is pleasing to the eye. For example, a female horse body and a male horse body are almost indistinguishable. Same thing goes for most other mammals. Even in species where the females are larger than the males, they just tend to be proportionally larger, not "curvy."Humans are different. Our eyes like curves and the female sex has evolved to that particular aesthetic. Human females are a bit out of the ordinary in that way, but I think the female form is an evolved response to what we as a species have find generally pleasing and comforting. It's also why female bodies are used to market cars, alcohol, and even things as mundane as telephone service.Thinking females are attractive doesn't mean you are a lesbian. Even sleeping (or imagining sleeping) with another women once or twice doesn't mean you're a lesbian. If you've never been turned on by a man, perhaps I think you might be a lesbian, but even then, it's nothing to "worry" about. You sound completely normal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): Don't stress! You're not lesbian it just seems you have an eye for beautiful things. A woman's body is beautiful. We have the nice curves, soft skin. So it is much nicer to fantasise about a woman than a man. But that only goes for some lol. I have a man and i think girls are sexy but that doesn't make me a lesbian. You're thinking way to much about it. So just relax, it's just a fantasy. We all have them lol.
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A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (3 April 2011):
 Where to start?Okay. You seem very, very defensive and insecure about your sexuality. First of all, take a deep breath. Calm down. It's okay.Secondly: most people, if they are honest, can sometimes be attracted to a member of the sex to which they are not primarily oriented. Remember that your sexuality does not equal your identity.You are nineteen years old, which is very young. You are only just at the beginning of your sexual journey. Ten years from now, you could be surprised at some of the things you have done. Are you a lesbian or not? I doubt it. You've always loved men. What if one day you fall for a girl? Well, cool, as long as she's a nice girl. Don't be scared that that would mean that you wouldn't love men any more - that's not at all true. You love who you love, and you continue loving until the end of your life.
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A
male
reader, Lalasune +, writes (3 April 2011):
 You're scaring yourself, instead take an introspective look at your situation, you like men, but you find the female form attractive. This doesn't mean you're turning into a lesbian. The sexual experiences with the boys you have met up with are not indicative of how you'll view sex and your sexual orientation.In part, just enjoy being you! dont worry about labeling yourself as this or that!Hope this helps
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