A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok i havnt been with anyone in a really long time(a year to be exact) and not just sexually i havnt been in a relationship period! because i got tired of being hurt and treated badly by guys. well about 3 mo's ago this really nice guy finally got me to open up and trust someone again. then he starts actin shady and we broke up so know im really hurt and i just cant get him off my mind. what do i do? i am so confused!!! because he said he really liked me alot so i dont see how he could all of a sudden not like me anymore. Please someone help me!!!!
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (13 April 2008):
 Sweetheart sounds to me like this guy is not all he is cracked up to be.
Someone who can get you to open up and then treat you badly is just not worth it.
Did you just talk to him or more?
I am not surprised that you are confused and it is hard to regain trust after being treated so badly, there is just no easy answer to that.
Don't think that this is you, it is this guy and he obviously has issues of his own. You didn't see them at the time as you were in the moment after having had bad experiences in the past.
Not all guys are like this and unfortunately what we consider bad does vary. The fact that he acted shady means that your senses are completely off so it sounds to me like you had a lucky escape.
Think of it as a positive and not a negative, he has done you the favour of not getting totally involved with him.
Move onward and upward and get support from your female friends and family. Truth does come out sometimes so you may find out more about this guy after chatting with friends.
Don't sit around stewing, that doesn't get you anywhere, you need to let people see that you are made of stronger stuff no matter how hard it is inwardly.
Life is for the living so get a little angry inside and get active, go out and enjoy life even with your female friends.
Start doing things or start planning a trip or time with your friends or family, you will get stronger inwardly given time and you know the tell tell signs of someone not acting honestly so you will be more alert in the future honest.
Stay strong sweetheart and keep smiling and every day you will get a little bit better.
You are stronger than you think - all of us females are believe me.
Here anytime to chat OK.
BFN
Country Woman
A
male
reader, madflash +, writes (13 April 2008):
 Oh boy.First of all, RELAX! It isn't like you're running out of time. I'm 44 and haven't been with anyone for 3 years. I'm going to die a lot sooner than you, and my looks are whithering quick. You don't see me scrambling for advice, do you?Also, I've got half a dozen women in my past that 'liked me a lot' but suddenly failed to like me anymore. It happens. Deal with it (I know it hurts, babe. But that's life) and move on.Maybe he'll come around, but if he doesn't, so what? You are young, and there are a LOT of great guys out there.Plus, you will be much more attractive to everyone, including that guy you're presently hung up on, if you have a nice, healthy 'screw you' attitude. Just think of the guys you like... That's right, the ones that don't want anything to do with you, like the one you're hot for right now.You want to really get over him quick? Then get dressed up really sexy and go flirt with some guys in a bar and dance all night. I'll guarantee you that by the end of the night you'll be all hot for someone else. (Just don't get too drunk--that's a recipe for disaster in your heart's longing condition).Best wishes and good luck
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