A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been dating a guy for the last 6 months and things have been going reasonably well between us. He is a really great guy and he is really good to me. He is thoughtful, supportive and everyone I know thinks he is really great. I really like him but I don’t feel like I’m in love with him although think maybe that will grow with time.18 months ago I met a guy and we went on 5 dates over a 2 week period before he moved abroad and has recently got back. From when we met we immediately hit it off and were talking non stop with each other and had this really great chemistry. Since he got back we have been talking to each other a lot and I still have feelings for him. I’m feeling bad about this and don’t know how to tell my boyfriend about my feelings. I don’t know as yet if what I want is to end my relationship and rekindle the old flame. I don’t want to be dishonest to my boyfriend but also don’t want to risk losing him to past unresolved feelings. Unsure how to deal with the situation
View related questions:
period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2019): It looks like you don't love your boyfriend as much as you think you do. It's only been 6 months. It's still NEW. If you're having feelings for someone else this SOON into what should be the HONEYMOON PHASE, then you need to rethink your entire relationship. Don't be cruel and string along someone who cares about you if you don't love them and can't reciprocate.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (14 May 2019):
 So basically you want to keep your boyfriend on a back burner in case things don't work out with the other guy? That's a tad unfair, don't you think? Does he not deserve better than being your "plan B"?
Your boyfriend sounds like a lovely guy, just not the right one for YOU. Other people may think he is "great" till the cows come home, but that will not create the chemistry you are longing for.
Stop wasting the boyfriend's time. He may be a nice guy but your heart is not in the relationship. He deserves someone who loves him wholeheartedly, which you know you don't.
As for the ex, well, you won't be happy until you have explored whether there is anything left there for you, and once you are single again, there is nothing to stop you. Let's hope you are not HIS "plan B".
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2019): Just end-it, and stop wasting his time. He doesn't deserve to be hurt by your indecisiveness.
The probable-outcome he'll receive is he'll find someone more deserving and faithful.
Perhaps divine-intervention and his destiny has sent someone to distract you away, for this very reason!
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (13 May 2019):
 And another good guy gets the ole heave ho, when bad boy rolls back into town.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 May 2019):
 I think you need to shit or get off the pot, OP
You are ALREADY back in contact with the "old flame" and OH SO excited about it. Which means you aren't really being loyal to your new BF.
The old flame is offering you something your new BF isn't. OR you wouldn't be THIS excited.
Have the decency to break it off with the new one OR cut contact with the old flame. Sorry you CAN'T have both and be a decent partner.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (13 May 2019):
 If you loved your partner there wouldn’t be ‘another guy’ In the picture and he definitely does not deserve to be messed around. I don’t think you’d like it if someone was weighing up the pros and cons of leaving you for someone else.
Break up with him and then decide whether you want to meet up this this old flame, that would be the most respectful outcome.
...............................
|
