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female
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anonymous
writes: ok here goes!!! My partner and I are very happy but recently have been getting feeling for my partner's brother :( We flirt all the time and have such laughs. He has also admitted his feelings and this is just an awful space to be in. What can I do??
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male
reader, Thomas17  +, writes (16 November 2006):
 Hello,
i just noticed ive read the last two posts wrongly and im answering the wrong things..
alright, what i know from relationships that start from flirting dont usually last long...
what i suggest... is just dont do anything.. let everything be as it is.
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (15 November 2006):
 Hi Anon,
I think that you really need to stop where the relationship is going with your partner's brother. Can you really picture yourself in a relationship with him in the future? Can you imagine how your partner would feel? Would you be able to deal with possibly causing a huge problem within their family? If things were to get messy, do you think that the brother would choose you over his own family?
There are lots of things to consider here. If you two feel comfortable enough to admit feelings for one another, you two need to have a serious chat about what will happen if this goes any further. I suggest telling him that you are already involved with his brother and that while you are flattered that he likes you, you really would prefer to remain friends and nothing more than that. I'm sure when and if the time comes, you'll be able to think of what exactly you want to say.
After you have a discussion, I would follow through with what you said. No more flirting or being touchy, etc with one another. I would also try to avoid being in the same room alone with him because it might make things awkward while you two are trying to distance yourselves from one another. Or if you decide that having the conversation would just make you feel too weird, I'm sure that your actions would speak just as loud and he would get the hint that you don't want to pursue anything with him.
If you do decide to keep up with the flirting, don't be surprised if your partner catches on at some point and things get messy. And if you do decide to act on your feelings with the brother, at least be honest with your partner and break up with him first. I mean, if you were him, wouldn't you want the same?
Take care.
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A
female
reader, mitta  +, writes (15 November 2006):
You said that you and your partner are really happy. I think that you are just flattered by the attention you're getting from your partners brother. Even those of us in great loving relationships get little crushes from time to time. Just because you fancy him a bit and he likes you doesn't mean you have to do anything with him. I think maybe you are just feeling that your relationship is just a little stale, and are enjoying the fact that other men still find you attractive. Imagine what you'd destroy for what probably would'nt be more than a one night stand or a torrid affair that wouldn't last. I would suggest taking a break from your boyfriend, go on a girly holiday or just move out for a week or two. This will give you time to think about what you really want. You'll probably realise that your feelings wern't as deep as you thought. As far as the brother is concerned I think he is a bit out of order for even telling you that he has feelings for you. Im sure you're a wonderful person but he will have his brother for life and should not even be considering betraying him. Consider this - if he will step over family, the people hes supposed to love more than anything, in the long run would he really care about you?
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A
male
reader, Thomas17 +, writes (15 November 2006):
Hello,
maybe you could test your partner..you can say that you might** have a boyfriend and then see his reaction to it.. its its a green light id say go for it.
however, if he acts all strange and stuff you know he does like you.
but you cant confirm that your partner likes you just because you three flirt "all the time"
i have friends that flirt all the time as well, but their just friends, and nothing more, nothing less.
well, good luck ya?
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A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (15 November 2006):
 I'm not sure quite how to advise as this is a very difficult one. I personally would go with my feelings, but only if they are really that strong. Or realise that maybe you're not as happy with your current partner as you think. Probably the best thing to do is to be single for a while and work out what you really want. Imagine the heart break you will create and there's plenty of other men out there. But lastly I always trust my instincts/feelings and they don't usually let me down. Give it a long hard think as to why and what this is really about.
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