A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have fallen in love with a taken man. He is definitely flirting back with me, and I am sure he is attracted to me on some level. He kissed me one night when we were both drunk at a pub. I would really like for something to happen between us, but I'm not sure if I am just reading the signals worng. What happens now? Do I confront him and ask him outright if he feels something for me and risk ruining our easy going friendship?Opinions and advice welcome!
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female
reader, lully  +, writes (13 June 2010):
I am in a same situation, but unfortunately for me I did not know at first that this guy is taken and by the time I found out it was too late, I was inlove with him. its been two years now and I am loving every moment of it, but the fact that he is taken is always on my mind and its the only thing we fight about. his girl doesnt know about us since its a long distance relationship and to be honest I dont want her to find out. i am not proud of whats happening but I cant help how I feel. i must have broken up with him for like 10 times now and every time we break up he begs me to take him back, and because I love him so much I always do. its hard but there is always hope and if it is meant to be it'll be, if not then it wont.
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female
reader, wildrose28  +, writes (7 June 2010):
These guys with gfs ughh..it's happening to me too. I never thought of him that way because he had a gf. But he really started seducing me recently quite aggressively he has already touched me and made his intention known. Maybe he's not happy maybe he's not ready to get married and have kids with her.I would be willing to listen if he said something to me without judgement. Maybe he's confused..I think it is best not to confront but to really focus on him and read his body language about what he plans to do. The body doesn't lie. But if he says things it may not be true b/c men always try to please women they don't want to be the bad guy. Don't let him mess up your energy be yourself and live how you always have without being attached to him that is the main test.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009): DONT get involved! By giving him attention you boost his ego and by flirting with you hes giving you false hope which is a cruel & selfish thing to do! Look at it this way he dazzles you but goes back to his girlfriend leaving you with lingering thoughts of does he/doesnt he like me? Dont let him play with your heart! When he flirts do not flirt back no matter how much you may want to. You say you want something to happen what if he uses you then goes back to his girl?! Could you handle that? Not only will he be a user but also a cheat! Are those any qualities for a healthy relationship?! Dont confront him accept the kiss for what it was-a drunken kiss. You say youre friends well be the better person and respect his relationship even if it seems like he doesnt. Let your head lead you because in a situation like this your heart will trip you up. You cant help who you fall for but you control what you do about it. A taken man should be avoided at all cost!!!
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female
reader, kay jizzle +, writes (11 November 2009):
it may sound sick, but hey it happens to the best of us, i've been in a 9month fling with a man that's been in a 3year relationship(mind you i know the girl), and as crazy as it sounds, he spends more time with me than his girl, purely coz he enjoys my company. firstly, you cant help the connections you have with people, irrespective of your knowlage of their status.chemistry is chemistry, and some chemicals react to others, whilst others don't...simple i honestly don't think its a sign of lack of worth on your side, who knows if he's the one, but just caught in something for now, and yes yes i know the old saying of, "if he can do it with you, he can do it to you", but if your a risk taker like myself, and you think he's worth the risk, then why not, what do you have to loose?ps. just don't drag your name through the mud, and try expose him when things get sour between the both of you, thats if it'll ever get sour...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): Hi there - I know EXACTLY how you feel. The same thing is happening to me at work with a man that has a fiancee. I can feel the chemistry between us and we had a similar encounter at a work party. Unfortunately, it is out of your hands whether or not he will act on his feelings. Try your best to let it go and move on with someone who is open to be with you and only you. It's much less painful this way. If you must, tell him how you feel and see what happens? What have you go to lose?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): There is no answer to the question whether action comes first or thought in many situations, though it is pretty clear that emotion comes ahead of both. But that is reflexive emotion and we fool ourselves when we say, even a little later, that we can't help it. Drill down deeper and you have to face the brutal fact of self-centeredness if you choose to go ahead with this man (irrespective of what kind he is). Men and women think differently on this issue and that is not likely to change soon though there are different men and different women. You will feel bad for a while but recognise that it is self pity, nothing more. If you are a happy sort you will be fine, and happy sorts dont drown in this kind of quandary. So go well my friend.Alpha
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): So to everyone that is cutting you down for feeling this way, I dont understand why. If you have fallen for someone you can't help the way you feel. Yes you can help what you do about it, but not the way you feel. I am in almost the same situation, however the guy that this is with is a long time friend of mine. His relationship has not been great for a long time now, and the only reason they did not brea it off is because there is a child involved. I came out and told him the way I felt regardless, I would rather let him no than go on wondering what he would say. He told me that he did feel the same way, and i told him that I did not want to be any reason that him and his girlfriend broke things off. Just because you tell him how you feel does not mean that you have to jump in bed with the guy if he feels the same way. All in all me and him are now engaged and his ex has also found someone with whom she is more happy with. All im saying is if you really really do have feelings for this guy, do you want to go on wondering?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007): Easy going friendship, what a nice and carefully placed word to downplay infidelity and the hopes you have to help this taken man cheat so that you can get what you want.
I can see how a man would be attracted to this selflessness you possess. You are a woman to be envied above all other women.
I wish I had a taken man to moon over and who would cheat and break the hearts of many; he sounds like such a catch.
Please wake up from this dream world where there are no consequences and you get to be likened to one of those criminals who can murder, rape, steal and hope to not get caught.
It just isn't worth it on so many levels.
Find a good man who can be honest, loving, and respectful. This is not your fellow you lust after.
Sheesh...at least have some sense of pride and respect to lust over a single male.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (18 February 2007):
 Well, you should start by looking in the mirror and giving your head a shake. Let me ask you a question. There's a little old blind lady walking down the street. There's a big hole in the sidewalk. Do you tell her or sit back and laugh when she falls, run over and grab her purse? The answer is simple. The answer to your question is actually simple too.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007): Oh dear, please be careful Sweetie. I too fell for a taken man and 3 months later he no longer speaks to me as we flirted for 3 months and then finally spent a night together and he felt so guilty that he decided to break all contact with me.
I fell for him very much over the three months and have had the hardest time ever getting over it, harder than any relationship Ive ever had, I think because I know he likes me but he has chosen to be with his family.
Its a tough one, but if you can, please try and be strong and resist him. xxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2007): Since you know he's taken....leave him alone. Why bother in something that will lead no where...and it will lead no where. If your looking for a relationship, move on and find someone who is single and wants to enjoy your company and a possible future together.
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