A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm a teenage male who has a lot of mates who just use me. I finally found someone who actually cares about me and I feel strongly about her as well. I have feelings for her and we always joke about things (sexual or otherwise) so i dont know if she feels the same way about me. I dont want to ask her sttraight up simply cos i'm shy and couldnt handle the rejection. I've known her for nearly 3 years and she lives quite far from me but we get on really well. What should I do? Suffer in silence and hope she's happy with the way things are? Or take a risk and ask her? I love her so much that all i want is her happiness whether it be with me or any other man :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, chocolate-love +, writes (21 January 2007):
You'll never know what she thinks till you ask. Being in a similar situation myself, I would say ask her. As someone mentioned if your as tight mates as you say you are she'll let you down gently cos she wont wanna hurt your feelings being a good mate of hers. Good luck!
A
female
reader, black_diamond329 +, writes (21 January 2007):
I would say tell her. If you are really good friends then she won't let this come between you even if she doesn't feel the same way. You could even tell her that you had mistaken your feelings to be ones of attraction but it was really just your love for her as a friend. As someone who is in the same position i would really like for my best friend (who is male) to tell me he has feelings for me cos I will never have the guts to tell him myself. Because he is older or maybe cos I'm the girl I just feel that it would have to come from him and not me. You only live once so live it to the full. Have no regrets!
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A
female
reader, x..HelpfulWun..x +, writes (21 January 2007):
I say tell her.
if does reject you dont worry because she lives far away and you wont get embarrsed so much.
but she might reject you because you are relly close, and known each other for a long period of time.
you could try and give her hints 'do you like anyone?' and more obvious ones.
i relly hope it works!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (21 January 2007):
Take a risk and ask her! It won't be awkward if she says no. If it is it'll be you two making it awkward and if her friendship means that much to you you'll be able to snap out of that no problem. The fact is that if you spend your whole life being scared of rejection you'll never have a chance to be truly happy.
CD
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A
female
reader, salsere +, writes (21 January 2007):
Well, if you dont ask you wont know!!
If you are flirting with her and she is flirting back the chances are she is attracted to you too.
She could be sitting in hope and waiting for you to ask her.
i know your shy and you dont want to be rejected. But you have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain.
So what if she says no thanks, you go red in the face for a couple of seconds, laugh it off say.. ok i totally wish i hadnt said that i hope we are going to be ok.
BUT she might just jump you and say ABOUT TIME!!!!
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