A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok some of you may think this isn't a problem but really it is. I'm missing my husband even when i'm just at work and its getting worse and worse. It all started when i went on a school trip to this activites place which was for 5 days(i'm a teacher by the way) i normally go every year so its nothing new. Well me and 3 other teachers took a group of kids down a cave and had to wait for the next group to meet us down there and the other group got lost so we had quite a long and boring wait. This is when it started, now me being 32 its very embarrassing but i'm a little bit afraid of the dark but only when im alone i'm ok if theres people with me which there were. I started thinking about him and how much i missed him. luckily i had around 50 kids to look after and 2 other adults to talk to to take my mind off it. After that i just couldn't shift the thought of not seeing him for another 3 days out of my mind and if i wasn't sharing a room with the 2 other teachers(who im friends with as well) i think i would of cryed myself to sleep. 3 weeks on and i've started to feel abit better because its the sumer holidays and i'm at home although he has to work some days. But those last 2 weeks of school although i knew i would be seeing him when he got home i couldn't stop thinking about him at breaks and dinner i felt i need to see him and just talk to him about anything just to make it through. I really don't see why this is happening its never happened before we have been together since we were 16 and have a really strong relationship and have a really good and happy life. I really don't want this to happen again when i go back to work i want to be able to enjoy it. I thought of talking about it to him as he's quite understand him but i don't see what good it'll do because i'll just get upset because i feel so stupid. What can i do to avoid this happening in the future and what could have brought this all on? I shouldn't be thinking about him so much i want to cry please help me.
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female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (27 July 2007):
 Honey, you're suffering from identity crisis. You have none. You identify yourself solely as his wife. What about you? What hobbies do you enjoy doing? What interests you? It's time for you to think about yourself as an individual. You can still be a wonderful, loving, committed wife but you are smothering him and it will eventually drive him away. You must develope some interests and hobbies on your own and this will do wonders for your self esteem, and help you feel like an independent, sexy woman. Not just a clinging vine. Join a book club. Go antique shopping. Open a boutique. Figure out who you are, what your passions are, and you will be a better wife as a result and you won't feel so desperate when he's out of your sight. And the added bonus is, he'll find you to be a much sexier woman in the long run. Good luck.
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (26 July 2007):
 Could of been a minor panic attack in the cave? And your hubby is your touch stone. Your safety net?This might sound bizzarre and i could be way off track but like people depend on alcohol or ciggies when they feel vulnerable, maybe your hubby is your safety net? Panic attacks can come on in a flash for no apparent reason. I had my first on a plane, and i had been on loads of planes before.Does sound a little bit like an anxiety related thing in my opinion and in your 30's is a common age for them to trigger.I think personally once you get back into the swing of things in september again this might well pass.You will have to be strong and determined for a few days.And also, is there definately nothin else worrying you, underlying. All is good with hubby? Not any insecure feelings?Let us know how september goes. I hope you get back to your old self.C xxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007): It sounds like you just need a big dose of him. Talk to him about it and maybe suggest taking a weekend with just the two of you, completely immersed in each other. I'm sure he won't be against that. You shouldn't feel stupid for missing your husband. You love him, right? Love makes you want to feel close to him and want to be close to him as much as possible. If you do try to spend a big chunk of time together and you still find yourself nearly in tears at the thought of him going to work, just remind yourself that he'll be home eventually. Don't look at 'missing him' as a negative thing. The way I see it, when you pine for his presence, the time you spend together just means that much more. Maybe, during the time he's gone at work and you're at home, try to plan something special for when he gets home. Maybe a special dinner or a sexy treasure hunt. Maybe even just a long, deep kiss 'hello' as soon as he gets in the door. While /you're/ at work, you could maybe bring something with you that reminds you of him and keep it close to you. Look it at it often so that it's almost like he's there with you. Anything that makes you feel connected to him. Best of luck. 3 V
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