A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I realise there is a lot of questions asked about this thank you for any answers in advance I just need some opinions on this situation I have been in a FWB for 18 months now he asked me if it could just be me and him sleeping together and not to sleep with anyone else.Anyway I never slept with anyone else although he is always accusing me of tha, but I haven't.A few months ago he stopped getting in contact with me so I thought it was over. Then he came round but I was out so I texted him and asked him if he was sleeping with someone else. He replied, "yes, I have, but so have you."He said that when I haven't, so I have not had sex with him since even though he keeps on asking me all the time.I don't know what to do. Every time I think about having sex with him I keep thinking about him with someone else.He told me it was only a one off, him sleeping with someone else, but I don't believe him as he didn't stay at my home for about 7 months.Now what should I do? thank you
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 Let's use an analogy here. Everyone who has hair uses a hairbrush. We all have preference, and some brushes are better than others. We use them frequently and depend upon them. However if we lose them, it would be a bummer, not a catastrophe. They're inexpensive and abundant so they're easy to replace. And we don't like sharing them. That is what you are to your 'friend' with benefits. A hairbrush. Do yourself a favour and just ignore him. Don't call him and don't answer your phone when he calls you. If he somehow manages to get a hold of you, be courteous and upbeat but formal and somewhat dismissive. You've had moments in the past in which you've been distracted, there is alot going on, you're having fun and someone keeps trying to talk to you but you aren't interested. You're polite but barely aware of them. Know what I mean? Be that way.
A
female
reader, Candid Cally  +, writes (29 September 2012):
Ok, FWB stands for "FRIENDS With Benefits." This man isn't even treating you like you are his friend. After making demands that you have sex with no one but him, you complied. In return, he told you he didn't trust you, accused you of sleeping around, stopped contacting you, slept with at least one other woman, then showed up on your doorstep for a booty call once the other woman was no longer putting out.
For 18 months you have had some level of emotional investment in this relationship, and he has seen you as nothing more than a booty call. He calls and he comes around and pays attention to you only when he wants sex from you. Please, ask yourself, How is this a friendship? How does this arrangement benefit you? His possessive behavior in this pseudo-relationship is preventing you from going out and meeting available men who would be more than willing to have an exclusive romantic relationship with you.
It is time that you see his selfish behavior for what it is. Please do not entertain him in your home. Please do not have sex with him. Please tell him that the benefits that he was receiving from the FWB arrangement have been terminated...and if he is a friend, he will understand and respect your wishes.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 September 2012):
 Why waste any more time with this guy? He treats you like a hole in the mattress, what good is that? For you?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (29 September 2012):
 He doesn't act like a good friend, by accusing you like that. When the friendship part, communication is out, he is just a booty call and he has no rights asking for exclusivity. If he wants you all to himself he should properly ask you out to be his girlfriend, and not keep you there in case he needs you, when he feels lonely or when he can't find anyone else. He does not get to have the girlfriend experience without him putting effort into keeping it alive. You are not cut out for FWB because you mind that he has had someone else. For me, I won't talk to him again.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (29 September 2012):
 Ok here's the deal:
A RELATIONSHIP- An arrangement where two people agree to be exclusive to eachother, allow love and trust to grow and potentially get married/live together/ have children/remain faithful/care for eachother...mostly until one of them dies.
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS- An arrangement where two people agree to not be in a relationship but do agree to have sex with eachother with no claim or attachment on eachother. They are allowed to sleep with/have a relationship with other people. They do not love each other/get married/ have kids and they usually only stay together until one or other leaves the arrangement to be with someone else. (As the woman in this type of deal, if you get emotionally involved or fall in love with your FWB,you will most likely feel used and end up getting hurt...If you feel this way, it's time to quit this type of arrangement)
NOTE: Almost all women in a FWB usually end up with some sort of pain or dissapointment.
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