A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've got two children, a 17-year-old son and a 22-year-old daughter.We went on a family holiday to Turkey last month for 2 weeks, and it was pretty much great - Mediterranean sun, beach, breeze, cool air, etc.However, you normally hear about English women running off with Turkish men. Not in my case.My 17-year-old son has fell for this Turkish girl, Tulay, who's 19. They had a brief "relationship" over there, which lasted for the duration of the holiday. He told us she genuinely loves him and wants to be in a relationship and wants to move to the UK too in the future; she says she doesn't want to fit in with the Islam culture there. Her family are open-minded enough and accept him; they're not even practising the religion as it is [he met her through a local restaurant we went to one night]. It's not like he wants to marry her or anything [yet], he just wants us to officially meet her.He's told us he wants us to go back over there so he can introduce her to us and meet her parents too.With all the horror stories we've often heard about Turkish dating/marriage, what do I do?I know for a fact that this girl doesn't see him as a meal ticket, I've seen emails/text she's sent to my son, etc.My husband is concerned; he said to me "Why is he interested in dating a Turkish girl when there are nice ones locally?"However, I suppose he likes who he likes; but this is a tough situation and, for us as a family, I don't know what to do.Please help me. Karen Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ozlem_milans  +, writes (6 April 2012):
 First of all please share your "horror stories" that you have heart in Turkey! After all; I hope they are not as dramatic as the ones we have heard here, about old English women travelling for sex tourism trapping poorly uneducated young boys...
Secondly, please try to be less prejudeced about people because of their origins and where they come from. At least Turkey`s name is not written under all of the corruption tragedies around the world... (exp: India :P) lastly, I dont know why people are trying to put nations into the same category just because of religion.It is like because they are both Christian, Italiens and Russians share alot of things in common! I don`t think turks have alot of similarities with Iranian or other Middle Eastern nations.Indeed if you have been around those place you will understand more, that those people even can`t wear what they want in the public places! Most of people carrying scarfs and practising religious activities in Turkey are also have Middle eastern backgrounds...
A
male
reader, unknown2u  +, writes (16 September 2011):
Turkey isn't in the EU, so presumably if the girl has ulterior motives it's to get a EU passport. But honestly if your son is asking you to go back and meet her family, it might really be love. Don't alienate your son by shutting down the idea that their affection might be genuine. Goodness, they're inviting you to meet her family afterall!
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (15 September 2011):
 We have had the odd "horror story" here about these situations, but the only ones I can think of involve foreign women falling for Turkish men. You've said that you're confident that she's not looking for a meal ticket. What else might you be concerned about?
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (15 September 2011):
 i can understand your concerns, if they ever have children and then they split up she could take the children back to Turkey, but really i think you are worrying a little prematurely here, they have known each other for just a month and have spent two weeks in each others company, there is nothing to suggest that this long distance relationship might just fizzle out before anything serious happens anyway.
however, if your son does fall for her and end up wanting to marry her, then there is really nothing you can do, he is a young adult and if you make trouble for him it will just turn him against you and you may actually end up pushing him to her more.
think positively, this girl may have been brought up really well and could be a great wife to him, maybe more so than some British girls. there are local girls who will use men as a meal ticket, break up with him and make access to their children together very difficult. don't have a downer on this girl just because she's Turkish. like i say though, too early for you to be worrying
x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): "Horror stories we've often heard about Turkish dating/marriage”!!!!! Wow. Please don’t be cynical and judgmental! I don’t know what you have heard about Turkish People but let me tell you in general Middle Eastern girls make excellent wives. I’m not saying all but in general they are. I live in the US but I’m Italian and my wife is Persian, Iranian and Turkish people have the same culture and religion, my wife is my world and I am so lucky to have her. Very family oriented and mature girls if you wish to compare! Some of my American friends have Turkish, Persian or Lebanese wives and overall everyone is so happy with his choice. I don’t see any reason for your concern, first of all they are just friends and your son hopefully is mature enough to see if they can have a future together or not. So, relax!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): What is so tough about this situation? I'm not understanding what you mean. Maybe you can elaborate how your son and your family is being put at risk by this Turkish girl. How come she is such a threat? If you are so fearful of this, why let your son spend all that time with her alone in a foreign country and you have no idea who she even is? Maybe you can explain this better because it doesn't make sense why you are concerned NOW.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): I honestly don't see he problem of your situation. You should just be happy for your son that he likes this Turkish girl. I do understand that your worried incase she's just interested in coming to this country and just getting a passport. However, you should get to know her yourself and be able to reconsider this aspect of their relationship. If they have only been together for a weeks, I would tell your son not to get too carried away though. I mean, it takes a long time to get to know someones true colours rather than a few weeks. I wish you all the best in your situation :)
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (15 September 2011):
 I don't know what kind of horrors you've heard about Turkish dating. Maybe I am too far away (in Canada) to have heard these stories, but as I don't know what you fear, and can't help until I do.
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A
male
reader, Thelaird1 +, writes (15 September 2011):
 I see nothing wrong at all with it. Let them do whatever make them happy.I am English and engaged to a Spanish girl. We have never had any problems and would find the term "find a nice local girl" quite offensive and racist.The only problem I would have seen is the religious culture, but if they are not practicing and are happy about the relationship, then I really don't see a problem.Of course as parents, you have every right to worry and have doubts. But I think if they are truly happy with each other, I think it's important that they have both families support.
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