A
female
age
30-35,
*edfoo
writes:I really need some advice, I have been cheating on my partner of 7 years (who I have a child with) for 3 months. I have slept with this other man twice, met up with him 8 times and have been speaking/texting on the phone to him everyday. A week ago we decided that it had to stop, I feel incredibly guilty and he can't live with the fact of breaking up a family. We have agreed to delete each others numbers, unfriend on FB basically cut all ties.I know this is for the best but I feel heartbroken, I'm bursting into tears every 5 minutes, I cant eat or sleep, I'm constantly checking my phone to see if hes txt me, no matter what I do I can't seem to find a way of getting over this. He private msg'd me on facebook yesterday saying he can't stop thinking about me, but I never replied. I'm still lying to my partner as to why I'm always upset and I can't talk to anyone because nobody knows.Reading all this back I sound so selfish and I deserve all the heartache I get but I just need advice on how to get over this guy so I can move on with my life.You can judge and criticize if you wish but believe me I'm paying the price.
View related questions:
facebook, heartbroken, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (12 January 2012):
 Are you ABSOLUTELY sure you don't want to split up with your partner and form a solid relationship with this other man?
In any event, I wonder if your partner might not have a sneaking suspicion as to the reason you are so upset. Have you considered telling him what's been going on? If you do, he will be shocked and angry, will feel hurt and betrayed. You'd have to "face the music" and try not to respond with anger.......not easy, to say the least. But there should be no secrets between two people in a committed relationship! If you want to stay with him, you can hope he'll be willing to eventually forgive you - it will take time - and to work on the issues and dissatisfactions that led you to cheat in the first place.
If, on the other hand, you do want to try to form a relationship with the other man, it will be extremely difficult to split up, and deal with all the ensuing problems.
It goes without saying that your child's welfare and well-being has to have top priority. It would not be good for him/her to have two parents who are unhappy together.......however, I get the impression that you have decided to stay with your partner.
The only other thing I can say is that giving up your affair with the other man only happened a week ago, and will take time to get over.......that's to be expected. You'll need to focus all your efforts and energy on the relationship with your partner and child you now have.......sorry, I know this is a terrible "place" you find yourself in......
A
female
reader, confusedgirljane +, writes (12 January 2012):
If you've cheated on your partner for this long, you need to stop and think about your relationship. And perhaps you should give it a go with this other guy.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2012): No judgement, just read a bit. You probably need a counselor to help you. Very good book. I read it after my wife's affair. Quite helpful, very accurate.
http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Affair-Program-Together/dp/157230801X
...............................
|
