A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Quick and to the point,if someone is going thru a rough patch in their lives personally and emotionally and claims they love you more than life itself, then when they have a temper tantrum and slapped you of which they've never done before, then felt so bad that they acknowledged that they need to deal with their issues and anger and see a therapist, then says that they think it's better we separate for a bit for them to find themselves and sort their issues out and lay low, but then they don't call you, nor reply to your emails and texts as quickly as they did, and are cold in their messages with no heart in them..What signs are those?Is this gonna led to a breakup, but how can it when they claimed to love you more than anything and they week before saying they want to spend their lives with you, then the next cut of 90% of the communication?Could it be because of the shock that his anger frightened them when they raised their hand to slap?I am confused, frustrated because this is happening to me, and I have been cut off and sit now like an idiot not knowing what to do.Help please
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female
reader, Earthboundluv  +, writes (1 June 2010):
 This person may very well love but understands that it's unhealthy to be violent and unable to control their temper in a relationship. The fact that you have allowed this person to slap you and you still want to continue the relationship without them getting help maybe(and should be) a turn off for this person if they really love you. It appears that they understand that they need time to get themselves together mentally so that they can have a healthy relationship. You should ask yourself why isn't that the case for you. This person can love you but you have to love yourself. You allowing abuse will lead to this person becoming more and more abusive. It appears that this person is aware of this and doesn't want to that to happen. Let the person go, so that they can become a better person. Spend sometime alone and real define what you will and will not accept in your relationships. All relationships take some hard work and commitment. If you start out with abuse it usually ends with abuse. I would hope that abuse is something that you would not accept not even once.
A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (1 June 2010):
 Break up with him and move on. He is not ready for a relationship and is becoming cold and physical abusive. (I know he only slapped you once but this is where it starts!) You don't want to go down this road. He has already cut 90% contact so there is nothing to lose by breaking up with him.
Good Luck! You didn't deserve this!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): If this guy loves you more than anything in the world, then I dont think he wants time apart. If he loves you, then he's gonna want to make the peace and hug you forever. You dont say how long you've been together, but I think wait a little longer for him to see where his heads at. He's hit you so just be wary. No matter how angry he is he should not do this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): Wow I went through this almost a year ago my ex got drunk and pushed me up against a wall . We split over hid shame and guilt . He too had said the same things your guy did . I love you I want to spend my life with you . Well his shame turned to anger towards me that I some how provoked him . The only thing I did was hide his car keys he was in no shape to drive . It will be a year next week . He still treats me cold and indifferent . I think what happened is he felt such shame about his actions and could not face what he did so he started to blame me. This maybe what your guy is doing . I amsorry you have to go through this. I suggest you start the moving on process. It's not easy . I wish you much luck
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