A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been burned real bad in my last past relationship and now I have met a new girl and have very strong feelings for her but I am not sure on how to trust her. How do I start trusting again? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): Please don't let the past win!! Don't let it spoil your future. I had a terrible past, yet i had to put it in a separate compartment in my brain, file it away and forget it as best i could. It isn't easy, but it can be done. Let down your barriers and let that new love in. We all get hurt from time to time, that is life, but we cannot let it ruin everything. Go for it and enjoy your life.
Take care
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): I have also been burned bad in my past relationship and it was hard for me to trust again. In order to start a relationship, you have to trust again. You can't bring your past to the present. She may be a really good thing.
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A
male
reader, moomoomoo +, writes (5 March 2007):
 perhaps you could find out what caused your past pains, if you at all had anything to do with it, even if it wasn't your fault, and adjust so it isn't like that this time. just a thought.
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A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (5 March 2007):
 Hi, know how you feel but to move on and have a full relationship you have to trust. Any relationship is a risk and to take risks we have to have a good gut feeling and basically this should give you that feeling of trust too. The persons past history can also be an indication of their possible future behaviour so get to know them well before the big plunge. And as the anon aunt has said here you also need to be happy with and trust yourself! Here is a link to a site that will give you some great tips on what you could to build up the trust between you: http://www.coping.org/relations/intimacy.htm
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): bro, your issue is not trusting others. its trusting yourself. the hardest thing anyone can do is trust himself. hell, even i don't trust myself sometimes. once you are sure that you have total confidence in yourself, you can trust again. jah bless and ciao...
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (5 March 2007):
 You need to remember that not everyone is the same. Just because you've been burned in the past doesn't mean that every girl you get with is going to cause you to distrust them. Take it slowly with this girl, get to know her first as a friend before getting in too deep. Find out her likes and dislikes, what she expects from a relationship, in other words fidelity, TRUST, loyalty etc. If she says any of these things then that is a good sign. Enjoy one anothers company and try not to be too needy in her company. Assert yourself, be confident and give one another space. Don't text or call her every minute of the day but let her miss you and text or call you first sometimes.
In time, the more you get to know and bond with her the more the trust will return. It won't happen overnight though so just take things slowly.
Eve
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