A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone,I need advice, and to spare u anymore agony my dearc agony aunts, im gonna make a long story short. Im miserable, I have an amazing boyfriend that I love and really enjoy spending time with but other than him I don't really have any other friends. I feel so lonely, I never have anyone to talk to anymore and that's wierd for me becuase im a very outgoing person, I'm cool with everyone at work and stuff they "fell in love with me" instantly. I've been betrayed by"friends" in the past and don't really trust people but I do wanna have atleast associates that I can go out with or talk to when my bf is out with his friends. I can't even sleep at night sometimes, like today, cz I feel so unhappy. Please help me. When I get married I wanna have friends there too not only his friends and my family.
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male
reader, reluctant +, writes (29 September 2008):
i my self, have never been with out lots of friends. my wife on the other hand has none. i do every thing with her. i think we get along great and i dont want to do n e thing without her. she openly crys over her lack of friends. i cant help but feel a little bumed that she wants more than me.
A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (25 July 2008):
HIYOU ARE IN THE SAME SITUATION AS I AMWell maybe lil different. I moved in the states 5years ago due to my job. I met lots of other people and friends (usually from the same country) .. we become good palls .. and than they left... I met my BF 2 years ago and thats when I realise "Oh my God, I dont have any friends" ... he use to hang out w me and his friends (never left me behind) and I was happy for him having all these people around, but I felt misserable not having anyone.Now I seriously have about 2 friends, that I hang out with. Yes, two friends, no family ... NO ONE! But I am happy ... happy that I have at least the best BF I could possibly have and I have 2 good friends, that I hang out with .. plus I like his friends, even tho we dont really hang out ... I still feel like there is someone.I know its hard, and believe me I know how you feel. You can write me anytime if you wana talk to someone!XOXOLierin
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A
female
reader, Angela.B +, writes (25 July 2008):
When we're at school we're surrounded by people who are the same age as us, with similar interests and going through a shared experience. Making friends doesn't really require much effort because they are just there.
But then we grow up, and it suddenly gets much harder. It also pretty natural that we drift apart from our school friends, and it's very easy to end up with none at all.
Thankfully there are things you can do to make friends with people, it just takes a little effort on your part.
You need to think about where you are going to meet potential new friends. Work is a good one, and if they already like you there why wouldn't they like you socially as well? Someone has to make the first move, so why not say to a few of them "You know, we spend all this time here with each other but never just have fun. Why don't we arrange a night out to ... together"
The other good thing you can do is find out what groups / clubs / societies there are in your area - many libraries keep a list or local press sometimes publish them.
Pick a few things from the list that interest you most (it doesn't really matter what though - remember you are really friend hunting!) and join them. You'll quickly meet a lot of new people some of whom you could be friends with - and you might even enjoy whatever the group does as an added bonus too.
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A
female
reader, MuffinGirl +, writes (25 July 2008):
I understand you. First thing you have to know it that you can't make new friendship in few days. It may take you a little bit longer. If you really have good relation with your work co-workers, why don't you ask somebody to go with you on drink or something? You'll soon see who is appropriate to make new friendship. I suppose you pushed off all people who was around you because you have a boyfriend and maybe they though he's enough for you. Not that you wanted this, it's just happened. Just make yourself more "affable" if you know what i mean. I know how it is because i had best friend 2 years ago, who got a boyfriend. She forgot on me and everybody else around in 2 months. She just wanted to be with him all the time. It was very painful for me. I still miss her. But now she feel sorry cause she did that. So don't be like her. I understand that your friends betrayed you but that doesn't mean that everybody's gonna do that someday. Just relax and open yourself to the others, but don't be naive anyway. Good luck.
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