A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok I'm new to this site but I was looking to see what people thought about this situation that has me trippin'. I met this one girl and I always liked her, but we never talked. I never tryed getting with her because she's my friend's little sister. But this weekend while at his place, it kinda slipped out that I liked her and now she knows. She didn't say anything when I told her.There's another little problem--she's pregnant now. Her and the baby's father aren't getting together or anything. I have always liked her and I see her suffering and it kills me inside. I want treat her like she deserves to be treated. So I guess what I want to know is should I keep talking to her and try to get with her or back off and let her sort things out with her baby's father? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2007): Wow you sound like a really great guy. i think you should go for this girl if;
1) you can really handle the fact that she is having somebody else's child
2) are willing to accept that the other man will always be in her life
3) Are willing to financially as well as emotionally support her
4) if you are sure that she may genuinly return your feelings and not see you as a way of avoiding being a single parent.
I know it sounds incredibly shallow but being a woman I would do almost anything to avoid being a single mother and bringing a baby up on my own.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Will you look back and wish you'd made a move? I think you will. Go for it :)
xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (2 July 2007):
 I think its great, she knows that you are there and feel that way for her, just as long as you are ready to take on the responsibility and always stand by her throughout the pregnancy. Take it slow. :) Go for it. Good Luck. xxx
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (2 July 2007):
 I think if your friend is cool with it and it's what you want then go for it, just take things slow i really hope she wants to give it a go with you as you seem like a really decent person.
I wish you all the best and take care.xx.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all thanks for the advice. I didn't think any one would even read my question.Well she does know how I feel about her. I've told her before, "if you ever need anything tell me, I will always be there for you." I have talked about it with my friend he said it was cool that I liked her. He didn't agree or disagree on the matter, he was just neutral. I've asked her what's going on with the father and she said he's denying it's his.I wouldn't mind raising her baby because I really have feelings for this girl. Ever since I told her how I really felt, I can't stop thinking about her. Last nite I had a dream, my dream was about her ending up together with some other guy because I never "stepped up." I would like to see what you all think about this because I really don't know what to do. I just want what's best for her.I'm tired of seeing her suffer. What should I do?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): If you're also thinking about the baby and not just if you can get with this girl. You need to know the baby is going to come 1st to the girl, and you will always come 2nd. If u think you can live with that and you are mature enough to handle a baby that is not yours then I say go for it. But you don't even seem to know if she likes you or not. She also is going through a lot right now. What I would suggest as well is to find out if she likes you, and if so, then talk to your friend and if all is well, take it from there.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 July 2007):
 I agree with the ladies. In any case, you need to know what she thinks. I also want to add some male perspective, because I've been there.
You're young and maybe you think that taking care of a child is easy. No, it isn't. And, you need to take into consideration what the biological father intends to do, which is a big question mark by now. Maybe he will try to "exercise" his rights just to become a nuisance. Who knows.
Be careful on one point. I saw something like this happen: a guy who, out of a feeling of wanting justice to be done, becomes responsible for someone else and then finds he isn't really up to the challenge. You CAN'T back up if you tell this girl that you want to be with her. So, think hard. She is going through a very hard time and you don't want to become part of her problems.
However, I see you have a good heart and I know for a fact that you'll try hard if she agrees to be with you.
This is the moment for you to become responsible for this child. The baby isn't born yet, so s/he will have no memories of life with her/his biological father, and it will be easier for her family to accept you.
Good luck, man.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (2 July 2007):
Ask her how she feels about you? Then go from there.
Seriously think about the pressure you will be putting on yourself by raising somebody elses child as it isn't easy. If you think you can do it then go for it.
I agree with flowergirl- try chatting to your mate/her brother and see what he thinks.
xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Ah,
I think you are wonderfull to even consider doing this. There are nice men out there after all.
I would take Flower Girls comments into consideration though. Are you able to take this baby on, if things got a little serious. Why dont you let her know you are there for her, she will know already how you really feel. But give her a little space to decide what she wants from this. Dont forget she will be very emotional and up in the air at the moment, so just being a good freind to her will go a long way. And then if when the baby is born and she is on her own you can go from there.
What a lovely person you are XXX
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (2 July 2007):
Firstly would you be happy to take on someone else's child?
This you need to be sure of before you take any further steps.
If you think it is something you can handle then what is the harm, if she is now seperated from the babies father, to at least tell her what you think of her, and let her know that you would like to see her if and when she is ready for that.
You could always try talking to your friend about it first and see what he thinks about it and see if he can give you some idea of what emotional state she is in at the moment, i'm sure the fact he is your friend and it's his little sister he would have both of your best interests at heart.
Take care.xx.
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