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age
26-29,
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writes: OK,this month,I met a boy on the internet.He's 13,really sweet,and has always made me feel special.I asked him out yesterday,and this morning,he said yes.Iwas excited when he said yes,but it feels like nothing's changed.I don't feel different.I'm usuallyso happy when I have a boyfriend.I felt happier whenwe were just friends.It's not him,it's me.It's unusual for me to feel this way and I don't like it.Iwant to feel happy that I have such a wonderful boyfriend,but I'm not.I just keep telling myself that it hasn't all sunk in yet,but I know that isn't it.1)Is it unusual to feel this way and some time or another,will my attitude start to change?2)Is there any tips for a long distance relationship?I'm in the U.S,he's in South Africa.
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male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 OK, scratch "boyfriend" and substitute "pen pal". You're not likely to be getting together with this guy any time soon, unless there's something you haven't told us (like he's moving to the US or you're moving to South Africa, or you've got a spare Lear Jet parked out back behind your house). Even with Skype video calls, this is not going to work as a real romance for either of you.
Inside, you know this. That's why you are not reacting the same way this time as you have in the past. It's nice to be in love with someone you've met over the internet, but at that distance and at this stage in your life you know that nothing is going to come of it for a very long time, if ever.
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 Maybe the reason you feel different is because you understand there is no chance of even meeting this guy any time soon. Long distance relationships are hard at the best of times but being in one at 13 having never even met except in cyber space makes it kind of impossible and knowing all of that is probably what if ruining your excitement. Take it easy, keep having fun chatting to this guy but if nothing changes dont feel guilty about writing it off and putting it down to experience.
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A
female
reader, Angela.B +, writes (29 July 2008):
 Do you, perhaps, feel this way because deep down you know him saying "yes" doesn't actually mean anything?
With him living so far away, and the fact you are both so young, what difference does it make if he's "a friend" or "your boyfriend"? You can chat online, perhaps talk on the phone if your parents are very understanding about the huge phone bill, and... well, that's about it really.
You can't do all the things you might normally do with a boyfriend like hang out together and unfortunately you probably aren't going to be able to meet him in a hurry either.
The sensible thing to do would be continue to enjoy chatting online with your friend but accept that is all you are going to be able to do for the time being. When you are both older and can afford to visit each other then that would be the time to think about starting a long distance relationship if you still felt attracted to each other.
And if you did that I'm sure it would feel very different to how you feel now.
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