A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I do not know if I am the problem or not but everytime we meet with my boyfriends' friends I get upset that my boyfriend starts joking with their girlfriends. I feel not respected and the problem is that one of them even touches my boyfriend or sits next to him. It makes me so umconfortable or I do not know if have a low self-steam. Can you tell me your point of view.note: she and her boyfriend have an open relationship, that is what they said.Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (30 July 2008):
 I am the same way. Welcome to the Club of "Stay away from my Boyfriend... You Sleeze!" ha ha
Really though, my boyfriend is the same way. An extrovert. Very friendly, doesn't matter what gender he talks to, just as long as there is someone fresh who will listen to his gab and let him be the center of attention.
I have a girlfriend with the same type of personality. Fun loving...Give "me me me" attention.
Anyhow, I get peed off too. I feel like "Hey! Who is it you are with? uh... I think it is ME, you Lug!" And people feel really comfy with someone who has this type of personality, because they are entertaining and free-spirited.
But, I've always hated when other women didn't have an inkling of a clue about how I may feel about it when we are out. Maybe if you and I were more extroverted such as our boyfriends, we wouldn't care as much.
I have been with mine for 2 years, and his ways have never changed, as much as we have fought about it. Then one day it came to me... he hasn't picked up another girl yet... he is just having fun. It is just his personality that is embedded into his DNA. LoL.
Now, I have gotten accustomed to it, and not as sensitve about it anymore. Someday you may become more comfortable with it too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): Talk to him about it and let him know how you feel. He needs to know.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (29 July 2008):
 Unless your guy has given you some reason to suspect that he is actively interested in these women, you probably are over reacting to what is likely his normal behavior. Think back. Was he more or less like that with YOU when you first met, joking and talking a lot? If so, it's probably just part of the way he interacts with people in general and women in particular, and doesn't necessarily mean that he's interested in them to the extent that he would actually stray.
And as for the couple in the open relationship ... if they have any clue as to how to make such an arrangement really work, they are acutely aware of the ethics of such things, and part of the ethics of a polyamory lifestyle is that you don't go poaching on your non-poly friends' partners. It just isn't done. If they don't observe these ethical precepts, chances are their own relationship won't last long either.
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A
male
reader, Neoloverboy23 +, writes (29 July 2008):
 I feel that the girl is nothing more than flirting with your boyfriend because she might be trying to seduce your man. Honestly, why would he allow that girl to even touch him even though she too has a boyfriend? That's wrong right there and clearly he is not giving you much respect.
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