A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a stalker. I am not making this up. For about six months now I have noticed him. I work in the building where he lives, and I never noticed him at first, until he almost knocked me down. Then after that I kept on seeing him. He doesn’t actually converse with me, just says hello and asks how I am, then off he goes. Now he has been off work for about six weeks and really, he has been there so many times now, its got to the point where you cannot call it co-incidence. Only this week I have seen him seven times, since Sunday. And the week before I saw him five times, and before that, oh the amount of times I’ve seen him has been ridiculous. At first I thought it was co-incidence, but now he has done a couple of things that have really unsettled me. I keep meeting him at his car, and on bank holiday Monday while I was working, he saw me go into the communal kitchen and came in two minutes later to wash his and his wife’s coffee cup and at first I thought I’d just been unlucky, until I saw where he was sitting. He had an excellent view of people’s comings and goings, and then he happens to walk in while I am there. Luckily I was chatting with a friend so I didn’t react at all, though inside I was fuming. And just today I saw him twice. I was minding my own business at that. I had been to the shop to fetch something for a person I knew and then as I was walking back I met one of my fellow workers, so we walked to the building together and I saw him stood outside his door, yet when he saw me walking with my workmate he disappeared back into his house, as though he didn‘t want her to see him. But when I was leaving the building for my dinner, I walked passed his door again (I have no choice in the matter) and I caught a glimpse of him off the corner of my eye, so I pretended I hadn’t seen him, and walked as normally as I could, but you just know when someone is watching you don’t you. You can feel their eyes boring into the back of your head.Anyway I have confided in two of the people I most trust and they believe me, though the first used to be sceptic until I rang her to tell her of one of my unfortunate meetings with him, and she said she had seen him in his garden only a couple of minutes before... The second person I have told, has had a weird experience like this herself about twenty years ago and so can relate to how frustrated I am feeling. She gives me advice best she can but I know full well there is not much I can do to stop it. If I accused him of it, he is spiteful enough to tell his friends that a girl has an overactive imagination, if I jokingly asked, ‘Who is stalking who?’ , he’d probably just laugh it off, and I don’t really want to complain to my management, because I have some very good friends in that area and I really enjoy the work I do there. Its just him. I am quite sure he knows the times I arrive and leave the building, which is how he has been able to be at his car many times, pretending to be getting out or getting some object from inside, he never actually drives anywhere. I have now begun taking evasive action. Just today I left the building late on, so he couldn’t predict my departure and happily I didn’t see him or more to the point, he didn’t see me, which is great.But now I am getting frustrated. I want to shout and bawl at him, kick him where it'd hurt, or just try and embarrass him in front of his wife and friends, but though I get frustrated, in my position, I cannot afford to draw attention to myself. I am sorry this is a long posting, but I just want some advice on how to avoid him. I understand he lives there and there is always a good chance it is just co-incidence, but his whole attitude creeps me out. He is 50-odd years old and surely old enough to know better.Hope you can help.ThanksAH
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female
reader, Dreamie Tofu  +, writes (28 August 2008):
Ive been stalked before and yes it is quit serious but it later stopped when that guy moved. The first thing that should come to your mind is NOT ignore him if you notice something strange CONTACT the police and tell them your being stalk and its been bothering you ever since. I know this one girl who also had been stalked for a very long time. She would recieve messages all the time and it actually says the things she was doing. In the end she met a guy and the stalker knew he then messaged her saying who that guy was if she goes with him he will kill her and she was really scared. Contacting the police is the BEST thing to do. It better to do it early before things get out of hand. =]
A
female
reader, starismine1 +, writes (28 August 2008):
 I would go up to him and tell him you believe he's stalking you and if you see him again around where you are, you will get a restraining order. Hopefully he'll realize he can't intimidate you and will move on. I would make sure you tell the police the next time you see him after your warning and find out what you can do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): hiwell i was at the police station in feb regarding sum car trouble-when this lady walked in...the lady came in to complain about a man who was sending her flowers and just standing in her back garden :| ...my advice is-if you know this man? or know his car registration number or know his name- go to the police and give an advanced complaint.you should do this because you never know what could happen or who else he is following. you wont get in trouble or anything-but you have every right not to feel provoked or intimidated by someone-so please go.god blessfriend xxx
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (28 August 2008):
 Try not to acknolwedge him, just ignore him but if this persists tell management. If they do have a word and it gets worse then you contact the police. Its all very well being told he is doing no harm but I have been there and mine got worse and worse with time until he was ringing me at home, knowing when I was alone etc etc. I changed my phone number and he was soooo stupid he made some comment about my manager trying to get hold of me and couldnt so maybe I had changed my number. I spoke to my manager and she was like 'what are you talking about?' I made it clear to anyone listening that if the sick perert who was bothering me didnt leave me alone then my next step was the police. He got the message but it was a ver scary time for me so if you are in any doubt, ring a friend or the police for help x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 August 2008):
I know it must be really annoying, but this guy isn't actually doing anything other than trying to be where you are.
And you say yourself that you have to walk past his house all the time so not all the times when you see him are going to be his fault.
Until he does something more then just see him as what he is... a bit pathetic and odd. Just ignore him, be slightly less polite to him in future and carry on. Surly his face isn't that offensive?
Either that or consider moving up the career ladder and finding a new job.
Good Luck!! xx
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