A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok hi erm i have trust issues as i have been cheated on in the past and its also happened with close friends. im in a relationship long distance and it seems when i have spare time on my hands i think about him and then it escalades to trusting him. hes been cheated on in the past too so were in the same boat! but he seems to trust me whole heartedly and i feel guilty and horrible. i do trust him i just dont want to be hurt again. he treats me like a princess so i should have no complaints..so i was wondering if anyone was in a similar situation and what did you do to get rid of the trust issues. he has a female friend that he doesnt see often but she flirts with him now and again and has made jokes of sexual inuendos and he tells her that she has a bf and she backs off we both think she does it for attention since her and her bf are having problems and she asks him for advice. so i think this is were my trust issues are coming from even though so it would seem he has done nothing wrong and he told me because we are honest with each other!! i just dont know how to handle this! any advice most apprieciated thanks in advance L xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): hi im the poster of this question. i think my biggest fear is what if he cheats on me and i dont know a thing..i know some people cheat and say oh they learnt their mistake and hide it so they can continue their relationship and not break up and cause their partner heartache..well i think your partner needs to know and its their choice on the outcome!! kinda like you should of thought of that be fore you cheated and that their is no excuse for it.. :( its getting me down a little when i know i should be happy do i have the perfect relationship and just trying to find something to pick on? thanks again L x
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (4 July 2008):
 What are you gaining by not trusting him? Do you think if you control him he'll love you more. The only thing you can do is let him be free. If he cheats, he's the fool. not you. You can not stop someone from cheating by acting like a warden. There will ALWAYS be the chance he'll cheat. No matter what, that fact will always exist. You can not change that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): If hes been through it before then he knows how much it hurts. And if it really affected him then he wouldn't create that feeling for someone he obviously cares about.
I wouldn't have anything to worry about but I can understand how it feels. If you have a problem with this girl flirting tell him about it, but make sure you say it right, once. Anymore then he'll start getting angry for you not trusting him.
If he does that first time, just say you don't have a problem but your just put off by it.
You sound, other than your minor paranoia, you have a healthy relationship and you should feel fortunate you have him.
With a bit of communication anything could be sorted.
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