A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need help debating on if I should tell my boyfriend, that I have been with for over 5 years, that I recently got charged with stealing from my job. It's been a year or so and I now have a probation officer. I've never been in deep trouble like this before so I don't know how often this probation officer will have an unexpected visit. I'm scared that it might break the relationship because it is theft. I've changed in this past year and I haven't stolen anything since. Please help. What should I do. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): Secrets destroy relationships more surely than truth and openness does.
Openness also demonstrates that you have truly changed more surely than secrecy does.
Do the right thing.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (28 October 2010):
 I think it's best if you tell your BF. If I were in his shoes I'd want to know. Frankly, I'd be more hurt by the fact that you kept this whole thing a secret from me for over a year now than by the fact you are now on probation. Everyone screws up, and sometimes the consequences are worse than other times.
My father was a probation officer for 20 years. I know he didn't do many surprise visits, but he could if he wanted to. Being what you're on probation for, I doubt you'll be getting many surprise checkups. Even so, you should tell your BF about this.
If you can't be honest with the guy you've chosen to spend the last 5 years with, who can you be honest with at all?
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