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female
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*bc
writes: I need some tips on to get over an ex fast!I'm still madly in love with the guy I was with at uni. I haven't even seen him for about 6 months but have loved him and only him for almost 3 years and part of me still hopes that later on in life (when we live closer) we will sort things out.However he has just told me he has a new grlfriend. I handled the whole thing VERY well, so he thinks I'm totally fine about it - when in actual fact I'm devastated.I'm going back down to uni in a month's time for a reunion with all my friends and I'm bound to see him and his girlfriend when I go out.I'm determined to get through the night with dignity and not let on how cut up about the whole thing I am, but right now I don't have a clue how I'm going to manage it - because the thought of seeing him with someone else absolutely kills me.....let alone having to deal with it when it's right in front of my eyes.Does anyone have any idea how I can get my feelings at least slightly under control within the next 4 weeks? Please help me!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2006): i am havin the same problem an its awful my exs sister took me to the place where she new he wud b with this new girl i fell apart in there luckerly he didnt see me upset i just sneaked away quietly i think he knew i was bothered im a person that shows there emotions as he came over to me an offered me a drink an asked how i was but hes just played with my head as he stil trys to let on to me if i see him out he wil flirt i ad to say to him by bein ya mate it hurts me at the end of the day u shud say to ya self im better then this girl an its your loss mate my exes new girl is a pure minger but i do no how u feel as im deadin every time i go out i wonder if he wil b out with her ect good luck with wat ever happens xx
A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (31 December 2005):
 i got over my ex by dressing up going out and having fun with my girl mates and realising how much fun it was to be single again
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2005):
Hmmm you are willing to go to extraordinary means to try to get over him, but you arent willing to take the ordinary precaution of skipping the trip (or at least limit your time) to the old school. That would be much more simple. And likely to work.
Sleeping with a lot of guys will only lower yourself esteem and make things worse. So stop thinking about that.
You could run into the ideal man in the meantime who becomes your idee fixe. That would squash the old feelings. But unfortunatly thats difficult to luck into.
Hiring a male escort is the only 100% sure way that your mind will be off the bf and the new relationship. I dont see anyway it could fail, however skipping this the event would be much simplier....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2005): don't give yourslef a time limit. that will only put more pressure on you that you don't need. maybe seeing him with his new girlfriend will be helpful to you in getting over him. once you see them together it might hurt a bit at first, but you will get a visual that he is now with someone new and probably happy with her. just try to give it up.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (27 December 2005):
Hey there,
Oh dear, you mustn't be looking forward to the reunion to havign to see someone you care so deeply about with someone else. It hurts alot hey. Yet you have managed somehow to cover up all those feelings so far, so what is going to stop you? Is it that actually just seeing the 2 of them together would make it even hard to cover it up do you think? Well I think the only thing you can do is do what you are doing now. Take deep breaths and tell yourself positive and calming thoughts.
I'm a big believed in going with what your heart says, it and it seems like yours is telling you that its not right or OK to cover up these feelings, otherwise you wouldn't be having such a struggle to do so. So perhaps you could think about leting him know how you feel, maybe not a the reuinion, there and then, but another time sooner, then when you guys live closer together. I suggest this because loving somoene and not leting them know is really hard to live with, i know from expeirence and I'm sure you have realised that by now. Also, he probably doesnt think you still have feelings for him, whether he has them or not, so he is trying to move on, where as you are still holding onto hope and not letting yourself move on so you can finally be wiht him. If you don't let him know, you will risk loosing him forveer, won't you?
So thats something to think about :)
I think what you need is a deffinate answer/knowing whether or not you 2 will be together. You can't move on from osmoene with a bit of hope in your heart that it will work out. You need to hear it from him if there is a possible future for thw two of you, that is theo nly way you will get through life.
I'm sorry if i havent helpepd much and really didn't talk about how to get thorugh the reunion, but i thought i must say what i did as well.
Good luck- and I hope it works out for the best!
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A
female
reader, StarNews +, writes (27 December 2005):
 You do not realize this, but you are stronger than you think. I do not know the details of your break up with him. Just remember this....nothing is ever completely over. The best thing to do is to keep on appearing happy, independent, and that you have gone on with your life, since it seems he has gotten on with his life without you. Do you keep in touch with him? I know that is hard to do, because then you will know all the details of his personal life. This may bring him closer to you, see you in a different light. If you truly love him, and have hopes to be in his life again someday, then the one thing you can do is choose to remain friends with him. You will be somewhat in his life and on his mind. If he does decide to be more than friends with you, your relationship could only be better next time around.
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A
female
reader, Virginiaac +, writes (26 December 2005):
It may not seem like it now but you will be fully in control by the time you see your ex. Totally ignore him and his girlfriend, after all, he may well be trying to gauge your feelings. Good luck
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (26 December 2005):
 Hi dearie, i know how u must feel. i am at the stage you are now but i have decided to move on with my life with someone who treats me much better than my ex did. i really dont know what happened in your relationship with this guy but regardless, if he is moving on with his life then you just have to go on with yours. you cant continue hoping that everything sorts itself out one day while he isnt thinking that way.
You indicated in your posting u have a reunion to attend do u have any close male friend u can take along as a date? The idea here is NOT to use this guy but to take someone who cares about u and he will help u gain some confidence and bail you when he sees u in distress. He might even help take your mind off things.
Also, would advise you to go out with friends and have fun. Occupy yourself and dont dwell too much on this guy. go out on dates if possible.
Goodluck, merry xmas and happy new year.
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