A
male
age
30-35,
*ougr11
writes:I am currently dating a girl I have been with for 3.5 years. Here recently I have been getting strong feelings for other girls. Especially her roommate who also happens to be my best friend and my girlfriend's best friend. I have told her about how I feel about her roommate. I also told her about how I miss being single and how I want to date other people. Is there something wrong with me? Am I being irresponsible? I'm just confused on what to do. I also feel so guilty for having these strong feelings for other girls that I don't feel that I could ever love my girlfriend in the same way because I feel as if I have almost cheated on her.
View related questions:
best friend, roommate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 December 2009):
Let her go. You don't love her enough, and by telling her she now knows it. If you want to have fun, end it with her and have your fun.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): The other answers are too harsh.
You didn't "ask to cheat on her". You told her something that was on your mind and worrying you, girls always tell men to 'open up' and that 'honesty is most important'.
Then you do just that and get slaughtered for it.
I made a similar mistake.
The fact is that honesty isn't the best policy in a relationship. Some things are better left unsaid. If you knew that you would never cheat on her, then it's not something she needs to worry about. If you thought u might, then you shouldn't be in a relationship and should've ended it.
It was an easy mistake to make.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): Have you heard of polyamory?
Google it, and see if it could help you. Your women might go along with it........
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 December 2009):
The biggest thing you did wrong was talking to her about it.
All that did was made you feel better. The poor girl now has to torture herself every time you go out without her wondering what's going on and if this time will be the time you cheat.
That's a very cruel thing you did to her.
You can still love a person but know the relationship isn't right and at the moment you know this relationship isn't right.
You want to be single so you can either
a) get single, be happy, hurt your girlfriend in the short term but I'm pretty sure there will be a queue to guys to help her get over you. In a few years you may get back together if she can forgive you.
b) stay with her and watch her slowly develop trust issues because you told her you are very tempted to cheat on her. You'll get bitter and she'll start to hate you and in the end the whole thing will end horribly anyway.
By telling her you want other women, you've pretty much killed this relationship anyway, so cut it short now before the resentment kicks in on both sides.
Cut contact for a while and give her lots of space. And stay away from her best friend.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
|
