A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, I've been with my boyfriend for the last 2 years now. For our 1st year together he was okay and active in our relationship but now he seems changed, he doesn't even say anymore that he loves me, where he used to say before. He doesn't hug me anymore and he doesn't even kiss me anymore, not even sex. I'm doing all my best for us to make him happy but something is really wrong on him, I have a feeling that he doesn't love me anymore, I tried to sit and speak to him but he doesn't seem to want to talk about it. I feel I'm in the middle of nowhere, I love him dearly and I'm very scared to lose him. Do you think he still loves me or does he just need me now for a while? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ms.trickyboo  +, writes (28 December 2010):
seriously i think he jus needs time to himslef or it could be he's cheating on u but girlfirend you need to get out because he doesn't want u he seems like he lost his mind take him to a movie an after that a walk on the park to talk if he say he's busy he's cheating on u good LUCK!!!!!!!! :) and best wishes ms tricky boo
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): I am going through the same thing right now. My man told me he didn't love me anymore but still wanted to date so I am confused with you! Just try your haredest for a few weeks and if things do not improve you gotta give him the boot!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): iam having the same problem,ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years and lately he puts his friends and social life before me.i love him very much but all we do is argue.when i try to talk to him he either changes the subject or even says im to clingy and blames it on me.he never says that he loves me anymore and he never sticks up for me.i dont know what im going to do and i know how you feel.
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female
reader, babytnk  +, writes (18 August 2007):
I know how you feel. was there anything to cause this? and argument or something??? well we are going through this too. something is bothering him that he does not want to do anything. see my man is the same way except for sex, he always wants that. but the i love you thing and the hugging and kissing thing does not happen unless he wants sex. just try talking to him if that does not work. try to look sexy for him. mabye hes bored. try to spice things up, make things new. if that does not work and hes still not into you. then honey hes just not into you. man is finally comming back. but something caused this gap between up something called my family and thats another story. so try it and if it does not work. loose the bastard.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): Hi, i am having the same problem with my boyfriend we have ben together 2 years at christmas and we was every persons dream couple till now i love him so so much but one day things changed and it was so sudden i have tried talking about this to him and everytime he has a different explanation and they are all rubbish or he tries changing the subject it is hurting me lots but i really really do not know what to do
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): This sounds like what I'm going through at the moment. My bf went away for a month, and since he's been back it's he hasn't done any of the little things - say I love you, kiss me, smile, give any signs he wants to be with me.
I hope things get better for both of us.
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A
female
reader, agonyauntlisaxxxx  +, writes (11 August 2007):
 You need to let him open up to you. A Break will do that.You're going through what I went through, My Ex was the same. We took a break for a month and then got back together for 3 months after 2 years together he finished with me. He was the same as you're boyfriend though. He's emotionally abusing you babe, you should get out of this while you can. You deserve to be happy and loved, he's not giving you this. You guys need to sit down and decide, Are you gonna take a break and then see how it goes and talk as friends or Is it over for good? Good luck love xxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): OH love, this is a very difficult thing to go through, and I'm sorry you are.
The very most important thing to realize, first and foremost, is this: YOU ARE OKAY, AND WILL BE OKAY, WITH OR WITHOUT HIM.
That being said, take care of yourself...and take control of this situation. It will be the ONLY thing that sparks a change in either direction in your relationship. If I were you (but I'm not! keep that in mind), I would say: Look, we need to go on a break to assess the relationship and see how things are. I feel like you're not giving your all anymore, and subsequently neither am I. So a break is best for now.
And a break can entail anything you want it to- you can or cant see other people, you can or cant talk to one another, for an extended amount of time. It's essential to mark a specific date for the break to end, this way you will know the day to check back in with one another to discuss your realizations, etc.
Being away from him, you will give him time to MISS you and realize how much he DOES care about you -- I'm SURE this is the case.
But being away from him will also give you the ability to think about other things besides him. Don't worry about what he's doing, worry about what you're doing. Worry about the things you stopped doing since you've been with him. Think about how great you are...it's true! You are a prize to be won, you don't deserve to sit their wondering how he feels, like a puppy. Worst feeling ever! I've been there.
In my opinion, you should go the route of no contact for a week or 2. If he calls you, which he undoubtedly will - please don't fear that, don't answer. It'll hurt of course but when doesn't it hurt? He needs to know you mean business, anyway. When you said no contact, you meant it! He's the one who stopped putting effort into the relationship and caused the break, so he's the one who will have to suffer. Maybe send him a text or 2 if necessary just to say "thinking of you!" but in actuality, it's best to just give both of you your space to breathe.
You will really enjoy each other once the break is over, or maybe you will have come to a different conclusion.
Either way, IT IS UP TO YOU. Best of luck.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 Only he can answer that question and since he's not opening up and he's not reassuring you that it's all in your head, I would suggest the two of you split up for awhile and figure out if you still want to be together. It could be that he wants out and doesn't know how to go about it; you know what they say sometimes - actions speak louder than words. If it turns out that he doesn't like the idea of the two of you taking a break from each other, then maybe it'll nudge him into talking about why he's so distant. Could he simply be taking you for granted, thinking that you don't still need those things anymore? Some men think that once the relationship is "established" they don't have to work at all the hugs and kisses anymore. Maybe if he realizes this is something we need on-going, he'll get better about showing his affection. I hope it works out for you!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 Apparently his feelings have indeed changed, and he doesn't love you as much as he used to.
What worries me is the fact that he won't discuss it. You need to communicate if you are to overcome any problems. Try to get him to talk things through.
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