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I have a fear of guys...

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Question - (4 March 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 4 March 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

hi. im 20 years old and have never had a relationship. i have this fear of guys that they will hurt me, i think this has to do with the fact my dad cheated on my mom and ever since i found out and they divorced when i was 12, i havent trusted anyone. i barely trust girls, and guys seem almost out of the question. how to i learn to trust someone? also, i know a guy who has this crazy way of staring me down and it freaks me out. he kind of bothers me and i dont know why we bicker. im not terribly good friends with him, he's more of an aquantince. but i get nervouse because i'll feel him stare at me, and when i look he does not look away. its just eye contact and i get this nervous feeling in my stomach. what do you think that means? sorry so long, thank you a lot.

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A female reader, twinkle +, writes (4 March 2006):

twinkle agony aunthey hun,

im really sorry to hear that, my parents divorced when i was young aswell so i know how you feel about trusting men. and believe me it is very hard to find a guy that isnt like that but my advice to you i think is dont rush in to things with anyone have some fun with a guy nothing to serious but if you feel that he is nice and that he respects you then take it a bit further but dont expect it to happen on your first try but dont be discoureged youve got to pick yourself up and start again, just dont get attached to somone to much untill you know hes right, but dont be scared rejection and horrible people are a part of life but you will come out a better and more confident person.

goodluck

kayx :D

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A male reader, bellamy +, writes (4 March 2006):

Hi, are you still close to your mum? Do you have any brothers or sisters? It is difficult to trust when you have been hurt. But one of the best things about life is our capacity to love and be loved.

Do you have hobbies, intersts where you meet similar people to yourself? If you don't, I think that's a good place to start. Trust comes with spending time with people, getting to know them.

As for this guy who stares you down - leave him well alone. If he isn't your friend, then why ahve any contact with him at all?

Hope this helps.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2006):

I am also 20, I have never had a boyfriend and get very nervous when guys even take an interest in me even if i realy like them, because i have this huge fear and i don't know where it came from, that every guy is after 'one thing' and that i will realy fall for them and then they will get to know me and not like me at all!

I have a guy on the scene at the moment, but i have begun to gain confidence in this department, you just need to relax around men and go with the flow. because i have found that since i have hung around with male friends i like them better than girls because they are more loyal in friendship and they look out for you!

I have decided that if my guy wants to date me that i have just got to get over my fears and go head first into it, beacause i will just be lonely if i don't try out relationships.

In regards to the guy who stares you out, well.... frankly he just fancies you i guess! so be flattered.

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A female reader, x Chrissy x +, writes (4 March 2006):

x Chrissy x agony auntHey,

It is really hard to trust anyone and I know how that feels but you have to open your heart and your mind to people because then they would not be able to see what a great person you are and you would never get the chance to see what a good person they are. Do not have a fear of being hurt because it happens to all of us and it makes us and better person and then we are prepared, sometimes it does seem like the worst thing in the world but it makes you a better and stronger person. So take a chance and open yourself to people try not to concentrate on your fear and try to concentrate on something positive. Maybe it would not work out the first time but you will never know until you give yourself the chance.

Good Luck

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