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female
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anonymous
writes: Please help. I'm confused by my bf's mixed signals.We are in a long term (3)yrs total, long distance relationship (1 1/2yrs), and we plan on getting married when we are together, like most people, he went to another country for employement opportunities.It's been very hard and times it's unbearable to be apart, but we know that when we are finally together we'll be happy.The problem is, I'm more "fragile" and I express how much I miss him, and at times I cry, and he doesn't want to hear me cry, so I try be as strong as possible to not make a scene, and to avoid making him sad. He goes out with his mates, and, I do too, but there is always that empty feeling that he isn't there.I try be strong so I don't annoy him, and to not over do things.The thing is that he sent me a text message saying that he misses me so much, and that I have no idea how much He misses me, and that he needs me, and that it breaks his heart each day that I'm far away from him carrying on with my own life, and he doesn't know how to carry on with his, and each time that he speaks to me, he feels that he doesn't deserve this, and that he can't do this anymore! What does that mean?There are days that I was depressed and he was ok, trying to make me smile, I'm the one that always expresses my love and feelings, one time he even said that It breaks his heart to see how sad i've become, and I from that moment tried to change to not put any pressure on him. But when I try be happy, to make him feel ok, he is the opposite.Am i supposed to feel depressed all the time and cry on the phone, and express my sadness and how I miss him all the time, "which makes him sad" only to make him feel better. I try be strong, and it now looks like I don't care.What should I do? I sent him a message saying that I miss him, and that it hurts us both, and that we need to be strong, and that my place is with him.What must I do? his message caught me off guard, and I'm dazzled.Please help.
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female
reader, wnabe_ctygrl +, writes (5 March 2006):
wow, there is a lot of sadness going on here but I guess it's not a bad thing, just as long as you can control it the right way. About the message, I doubt it means anything bad. It probably means that he cant take that your sad anymore and want to makes you happy. you may of gotten it mixed up or somthing. for an example, I showed my bf the burn on my leg from a couple of years ago and said that it hurt when I got it and I hate the fact that Im with it for the rest of my life. His answer? "I dont care". at first I thought that he didnt care about the whole burning situation, but he acutally meant that he doesnt care about my burn itself ( well he does, but he doesnt care what it looks like ) and that he will always love me dont matter what. You need to talk to him about it. You will get a better answer from him then asking people here on Cupid! lol (sorry cupid peoples! its true!)
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