A
female
age
26-29,
*djc?
writes:so i'm young. but ive already done stuff, witch was a mistake i got caught up in the moment. and i really regretted it. but now i have this "bucket" list all these things i would like to do before i graduate high school. abd there are a few sexual things on there. and theres this guy (we are just friends) and he wants to help me complete my list, but that includes the sexual things on the list. i want to do them, thats why there on there, but im not sure im ready to go through what i went through the first time i had friends with benefits, it was really hard. but i think i might be better equipped this time. i really dont know!! help!
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (10 January 2010):
 Yeah, toss the sex list, ... you will see in time how truly pointless it is.
Both my partner and I have been doing it for over 20 years and yet still things are just coming out that neither of us have quite experienced (give or take) before.
If you asked me 20 years ago, ...hell, even 5 years ago, I would not have even contemplated some things let alone be actually doing them. That tho is the beauty of being in a loving trusting relationship instead of trying to check things of a limited list. Anything may go, and ya may not even have thought about it until your in the midst of doing it.
Bonus - and totally unscripted - even better !
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (10 January 2010):
YEY!!!!!!
I'm so glad you've decided to wait.
And married lady gives an EXCELLENT point.
You don't stop making lists. I had a list of stuff to by leaving school, a list of stuff to do before leaving uni, A list of stuff to do by the time I was 25 and I'm currently on "Things to do before I'm 30."
They include:
Work for a national radio station.
Finish my book and it be good enough to let people read it.
Own a house and be overpaying the mortgage.
If you have something on this list that's not done by the time limit, then you just put something bigger and better on the next list and aim for that instead.
So rather than "be fingered by the time I'm 16" or whatever, put "find a guy worth letting finger me by the time I'm 21."
Living for each day is a great idea, but that doesn't mean you aren't going to have lots of days to regret rushing into things.
Find the song "just a ride" by Jewel. I think you'll like it. It's based on comedy by bill hicks who said life is just a ride. You just have to enjoy the experiences both good and bad, and you don't need to force the big hands-in-the-air parts to happen. It's more fun if you have the wait and the climb so you can appreciate it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxLWFTIvRnM
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, adjc? +, writes (10 January 2010):
adjc? is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh that makes sense thanks for explaining. i just feel it gives the wrong idea about my list. and i dont want that. youve really halped me thanks :D
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): i can answer that one. when the mod is modding...whomever that may be...the read the question and try to give it an appropriate title. they also try to give it a title that will be eye catching so that people will want to read it and give you answers. so whomever was modding when your question came thru...read the question and saw the term bucket list, and the fact that you had sexual items on it and gave it the title. pretty good one too i thought. Its gotten you 15 answers at this time. however if you dont like it the best way to keep that from happening it to title your own question...and if it hasnt been used before they will generally keep the title you have. my best to you sweetheart, mal
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female
reader, adjc? +, writes (10 January 2010):
adjc? is verified as being by the original poster of the questionum marriedlady i didnt think of that way, that kinda took me back. this list is something that brings me joy and i feel proud of completing something. but i wont be able to share those things with people. i can go around saying i did things that are inappropriate. i think those things can wait till the times right. till im ready. im not sure why they are on my list and why im in such a hurry to cross them off. i think for right now im going to focus on the other things on my list and maybe while im doing those things opportunity (proper safe opportunity's) will come along. and i also dont understand why the title to my Q is "i have a bucket list about sex" because sex isnt even on there haha. but ok
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): what about living with an eye for the future? i am 43 and my bucket list is not shrinking in fact it is growing. although i try to live each day so that there would be no regrets that doesnt entitle me to stupidity! The things that you have on your bucket list should be things that bring happiness and value and creativity to your life. things that are meant to be achievements. not screwing some teenage stallion. i agree with pinktopaz, and the others... revise the list and then revise it again. until some day you can drag it out of the drawer and share it with your grandchildren. and be proud of what you have accomplished. good luck sweetheart, mal
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (8 January 2010):
You need to be realistic though. I highly doubt that dying a virgin would be a huge regret. But you're right, we should all live that way...after all, we might not be here tomorrow. So I'm gonna go pull an all nighter tonight, sleep with 4 or 5 guys (hopefully at once to get it over with and maybe I'll contract herpes or genital warts you know, something I can't get rid of), smoke some crack since I haven't before, do some pole dancing, and get a DUI or something. Gotta live like there's no tomorrow, right?!
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female
reader, adjc? +, writes (8 January 2010):
adjc? is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni havnt ever had sex, that i havnt done. ive been to close to death to lean on the idea that i have my whole life to do things. i dont have just sexual things on this list, but the sexual things are the things that consern me the things in afraid to do to try. because if i do make it through tomorrow i might turn out to be very bad for me. but it might not. im living every day like me last, regretting nothing. and i just dont want this list to be something i regret because right now its something that brings me alot of joy. the feeling of crossing something off is something ive never felt be4 its like a high. i have a lot of good beneficial things on this list. like for one ive been working on a book im pretty far into it and i just need motivation to finish it.
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female
reader, adjc? +, writes (8 January 2010):
adjc? is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni havnt ever had sex, that i havnt done. ive been to close to death to lean on the idea that i have my whole life to do things. i dont have just sexual things on this list, but the sexual things are the things that consern me the things in afraid to do to try. because if i do make it through tomorrow i might turn out to be very bad for me. but it might not. im living every day like me last, regretting nothing. and i just dont want this list to be something i regret because right now its something that brings me alot of joy. the feeling of crossing something off is something ive never felt be4 its like a high. i have a lot of good beneficial things on this list. like for one ive been working on a book im pretty far into it and i just need motivation to finish it.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (8 January 2010):
Awww, we all had those lists. Mine included marrying the guy who presented Blue Peter and learning guitar to start a band.
I still haven't done either of those things and I'm 26.
Lists are great to make as a giggle, but it's not a binding contract.
Why let this guy use you and get a reputation as someone who gives it out for free? I'm sure if you had a boyfriend who cared about you then you would have ticked them off, but why lower yourself to giving your body away to some random guy just to get it ticked.
Respect yourself and your body and wait to give yourself to a guy who is willing to work for it and prove himself WORTHY of those things.
Is "Meh, all right, I'll do you." really REALLY what you think a night with you is worth?
Good Luck!! xx
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female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (8 January 2010):
 You shouldn't have sex unless it is with someone you love and even then you have to wait until you are ready. You shouldn't have a deadline for sex, it's one of those things that will happen and if you wait until you're maturer it will be better.Don't do this because you will regret it.hope you find someone nice to do stuff with.xx
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female
reader, Lorenn. +, writes (8 January 2010):
why should you have to push all these things before you leave school? To be honest i don't think you should!! You've felt what it was like the first time around. i'm sixteen, and i'm still a virgin. i notice that girls can be easily manipulated by guys. And you shouldn't let them. There's nothing good about sex, i herd it's overrated. You shouldn't have to complete things like this. i personally think you should wait until you're in a relationship. that way you have someone there you can trust. rather than just a one time thing with a meaningless person.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): FWB? You seem very young to have gone down that route. I wouldnt worry about a bucket list. Thats generally a list of things you want to do before you die. And as you are only 13/15 i dont think you need worry too much just yet! Try and be a little more ambitious. Concentrate on study for now x
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (8 January 2010):
No, you won't be better off this time. FWB isn't for everyone, you'll probably wind up emotionally attached and hurt. Don't bother. And why do you feel the need to complete these sexual things before high school is over? You do realize you have a whole lifetime, right?
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