A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 with a boyfriend who i dont love but we stay together for our 2 children, for 6 months i have sseing a married guy who i am desperatly in love with, he is 50. his wife has recently caught us so our relationship is now over and i feel so is my life, how can i convince him to leave his un-happy marrige instead of "making do" just because its easier and to be with me as i will love him so much, i know he loves me he is just a chicken to leave what he has know for years, please help me think straight as i am heart broken. Thanks xxx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): I am the wife of a 50 something year old man who cheated on me with a 25 year old girl... I know of what I am saying.. leave him alone.. he decided to stay with his family because he does love them and realized he has made a huge mistate.. move on with your life.. don't try to hurt anyone anymore then they have already been hurt.... People make mistakes and your affair was just that...
A
female
reader, Maureen  +, writes (26 May 2007):
Hi! My advice for you is that be sure on what the guy feel for you(your lover). You said that he just chicken to leave his family but are you sure that he is really that chicken out or he just don't find a good reason of living his family because of his love for them more than anything else in the world. I know it's just easy for you to say because you don't love your ex husband anymore, but i know you love your kids). What about the guy? Are you sure. Well this just only an option. Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (26 May 2007):
 I agree with everyone here. You're willing to throw it all away for him. He has a life of his own, and you need to stop being selfish.
DV1
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A
female
reader, Pork Hock  +, writes (26 May 2007):
The fact that you got caught and he went back to his wife leads me to believe that you have no reason whatsoever to 'convince' him of leaving his wife. You shouldn't have to convince him, cajoul or try and influence him. He clearly knows what he is aiming for...leave him alone. Don't try to create a situation. It is heart-breaking, I know. But let him be alone to be himself and figure out his own struggle. Clearly somewhere he is not completely unhappy with his life, otherwise he would have done something about his future either whether you were involved or not. I'm sorry that I am so harsh, I just don't want you to be as heartbroken as me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): i agree with both of them now if your not in love with the man your with now then maybe you should try to see about workin it out but if you cant why ruin someone esle's happiness and marriage i mean come on your 22 hes 50 what would yall really have in common anyways in the future and if you have to tell him or convince him to leave his wife then he doesnt want to if he really loved you and wanted to be with you over her then he would leave him alone and grow up. what would you do if you found out that your man was havin an affair with another older women and he wanted to leave you for her?if you dont love that man leave him and be friends dont ruin another persons life just cause you feel you cant live without a man who obviously can live without you or hed be with you.
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (25 May 2007):
 I think it's about time you grew up and started realising what is important. Perhaps you should think about actually working on your current relationship and looking after your kids as opposed to hopping into bed with this guy. It is clear from the fact that he hasnt left his wife that he was using you for sex, and loves her more than you. Get your priorities straight!
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (25 May 2007):
 This man is married and is doing the RIGHT thing by telling you that your relationship is over. It never should have started in the first place!! You are 22 years old and already have 2 children! It is time to learn to keep you pants on, girl!!
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