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I hated him now I love him!

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Question - (14 September 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 September 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Has anyone ever fallen for someone they hated at first? It feels so strange and confusing. I feel like I must be crazy!

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A female reader, AnnieLuck United Kingdom +, writes (14 September 2010):

Perhaps it wasn't 'hate' you were feeling to begin with but strong indifference. Yes its totally possible for feelings to change once you really get to know a person.

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A male reader, johnsocali United States +, writes (14 September 2010):

johnsocali agony auntI once hated my sister friend. I dated one girl and she dated plenty of guys. I hated this type of girl. Everyday it seemed she had a different boyfriend. But of course she was my younger sisters best friend and always hung out with my sister at our house. She would always do things to get my attention, try to impress me. For a couple of years I was not impressed with her at all. She would do handstands by our pool in her two piece bikini, make funny faces, she even arrangend a poker night with all my male buddies while doing a sleepover with my sister (mom worked late at the hospital). By the time I was 17, she was now 16 and started to become more attractive to me (looking more like a woman) and so I started to notice her. When I finally started to show her I liked her, she pretended to like me as I found out the hard way. She accepeted dates with me and we were going steady to all that new us (100 or more high school friends and all that), But one day she said to me John, I like you but I will never have sex with you, ever. I was raped as a little girl and will never, if you can deal with that then all will be fine. Now we had dated for 7 months at this time and I was soon to turn 18. I had only been with one girl (sexually at this time). But I told her, there is no way I could be with a girl who will never have sex with me. Talking as a friend, we talked alot. She eventually opened up as the days passed and told me her story. I tried my best to be understanding, listen and be that great guy. One night she was drunker than the rest of us, that is I had one beer and she was all over this guy she never met but at a party we were all at. He was a different high school football player. She ditched me and left the party with him. Turned out he was a more aggresive (not a gentlemen type) and had sex with her that night. Turned out she liked the agressive guy type. I later on concluded that she liked the rape like type behavior from guys! I wasn't that type of guy. I wasn't the jealious type. I moved on and dated other girls and she still remained friends with my sister. After several years had passed she turned into a speed whore. Using drugs and living from motel to motel to support her habbit. My sister also turned to the same drug and lived with one guy, while my ex-xxx was with several hundred guys. Turns out that I was was glad to never had married such a girl. I am thankful God re-routed the road ahead for me. This kinda girl did not deserve this nice guy. And my advice to you, is if you hated someone to begin with, chances are that liking them so much will turn out to be that you will just hate them more in the end, so just move on and do not let Satan mess up your original gut feeling of hating them to begin with. :)

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (14 September 2010):

Hi there. I believe it's possible for this to happen. Yes it probably seems strange to you at first, but don't let that throw you off balance.

Sometimes when we meet someone, we form an opinion of them because of something they said or how they said it. Especially, if they seem to differ from how we live our lives and how we see things. So we then see them through a filter according to our own experiences. We kind of pre-judge, I guess. When we feel this way we sort of block everything about that person, simply because we don't understand them properly at the time. Maybe we are feeling tired at the time or a bad day at work, etc. And consequently, we start to think negative things about them.

But then, somewhere further down the track, we might be in a more open minded mood and that same person comes up to us, tells us something nice and the whole dynamics of everything changes. Just like that!

I don't think that it can really be explained. It's one of those mysteries in life. Mainly based on simple misunderstandings and nothing more.

Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.

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