A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've trying to tell my mom and dad that I'm a lesbian for a while now.I just don't know when the BEST time is, and only someone that has allready come out/has a child that has come out to them can understand when. I'm so sick of having to say: yeah, he's hot mom. Don't worry, I'm not going to get rid of my baby if I get pregnant, mom! It's such a hassle...I hate having to do it, but until I come out, I have no choice. Please help!
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female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (23 April 2008):
 If you feel it's too difficult to tell your parents face to face, maybe you should write it all down in a letter.
Then you can get all your feelings down and your points across that you want to make, and they can sit and take the time to digest what you say.
A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (22 April 2008):
 You already have a thread running on this issue, it was posted yesterday ~ the 21st. If you've not seen it, there is a very good piece of advice from FinnMcCool, I hope he doesn't mind ~ but I have copied and pasted it, in case you missed it;
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A male reader, FinnMcCool +, writes (21 April 2008):
"By not telling them, you're not lying. Why do you think they need to know anyway? It's your private business and just coz your 12 doesn't mean you're not entitled to your own privacy. Personally, I'd hold off from telling them at all and let them figure it out with time. You are not compelled to tell anyone about your sexuality. Think of it this way: if you were straight, would you feel compelled to announce to your folks " Hey, guess what? I really fancy guys!" Course not. Chill about it, relax and just be yourself."
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Then it was followed by my reply;
A female reader, BigSis + ?, writes (21 April 2008):
Finn is right, chill out, relax and be yourself, by not saying anything to your parents ~ doesn't mean you're lying. You may even cause them unnecessary upset.
You're 12 yrs old ~ you are now officially beginning your journey into the mad mad world of the hormone rush, and your body is going to be changing from now, and in a matter of months, a year or even more, you will more than likely be experiencing all sorts of feelings for boys, girls, older men, older women, teachers, doctors, Superman, Spiderman, Wonderwoman or whoever.
Just enjoy looking forward to becoming a teenager and make the most of it. You're doing just fine.
----
Take care and all the best,
Luv BigSis xXx
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (22 April 2008):
 I hate to sound like your parents (and I'm sure I do), but at aged 10 to 12 you don't know for sure that you're a lesbian.
Your sexuality is still changing and adjusting, and will go on changing and adjusting for a good few years yet. Many, many people have same-sex tendencies in the teens and then change completely a little later - and, equally, many, many people are quite convinced that they are heterosexual and then later develop a definite preference for a partner of their own sex.
One of the problems (or joys, perhaps) is that we all have at least a little of BOTH sexual characteristics within us. Our true sexuality doesn't really develop until several years after puberty.
So don't rush it. Enjoy your feelings as they come and, above all, enjoy the dreams and fantasies. You may lose some of them later on - or you may not. Certainly don't rush to declare your own preferences. It's much too soon for that.
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