A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm wondering if someone has gone through thisMy boyfriend is friends with his ex and it drives me crazy. I guess the reason I hate it is because I know how much he loved her and he was with her for a long time. Whenever I've noticed that they've been texting or talking online, I just get upset, I don't tell my boyfriend though.My boyfriend knows it bothers me because we have kind of talked about it before. He says I have nothing to worry about but it still bothers me. I just hate that she's still a part of his life. I know he's a nice guy and he's friendly and he's the type to stay friends with ex's, but it's really hard for me to deal with for some reason.There's more I want to say but I don't want to make this too long, I just wanted to know what you guys think I should do?
View related questions:
his ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (16 December 2013):
 (Unless there are children involved,) I don’t see why we should become social workers (figuratively speaking) for our EX’s after we break up from them… Like are we to make their transition from us more comfortable? Once you split that’s it for me, you give your reason, part on friendly terms if possible, learn from your mistakes and make a new chapter with another. There’s none of this lingering on as friends BS with an EX, what’s the point of prolonging the inevitable?
Now if his social circle is so poor, perhaps you both are in need to expand your horizons; you could encourage him to go out and explore new interests together? Also make a polite mention again that deep down it does bother you, in that his focus is elsewhere and not on the friendship he’s supposed to be building with you first and foremost. Otherwise what’s his point/motive in having her as “a friend” when you’re supposed to be his GirlFRIEND!?
Take Care – CAA
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2013): Hi there!
I think I am the best person to answer your question.
i even have an article on my page why its good to remain friends with your ex. You may try to read it, if you have time.
Well, I can't really blame you, if you feel that way. I was also used to have the same mentality before.
But it change when I met my latest ex bf. We were both so mature about the break up, we parted ways as friends, there were no bad blood about each other.
Lets just call him harry.
Harry still sends me a message sometimes to say Hi how are you. But that's all about it. Its not bad to remain friends with someone who became a part of your life. You should worry if they meet up in person without your knowledge, even if your present I think its a no-no.
But just a message, once in a blue moon, get over it.
I don't think if you need to worry at all. If they really want to be together, then he should not be with you, right now. But his with you. It means Your the winner and she's the girl from the past.
I suggest for you to maintain your poise over it. Be better in everything. So he will always think how grateful he is to be with someone like you.
She's just a woman from the past. Past is past.
Confront him again and tell him in a most calm way, that he should at least consider the fact how you feel about him talking to his ex.
If he still continue to hurt your feelings, well, maybe its not the third part who has issues, its him. his not over her. but before you jump into a negative conclusion, talk to him first, again.
...............................
|
