A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I found out my boyfriend was chatting to some girls on AOL chat, what about or wether it got sexual,lets face it,i will never know.However he went on a couple of seedier sites ect and i had to have a look. And i feel like a weirdo. Not only has it caused trust issues. But its put me off sex, i hate it! Why am i feeling this way? im so down and he knows this. But whats wrong with me? even seeing porn makes me feel sex is not love anymore, its all seedy and exploited and discusting! ive always had a good sex life.Maybe because i love this guy so much it hurts me? but sex to me right now is just, i dont know, i hate it all.Please help and give me some advice.Im dying inside
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): i so know what you mean, im there right now. For me it's just the porn in general tho - i've not 'caught' him at all. I have always hated it. even he commented on the amount of strip clubs, strippers, prostitutes etc that are in mainstream tv or movies, even he was shocked when he noticed easily 1 in every 3 shows we watched had some sort of reference.
anyway I get off topic. i feel the same - and put off. im young, attractive and vital. he thinks im mad at him - how do i tell him it makes me sick? i have spent the last 5 hours miserable after watching a silly tv show that was graphic, unnecessarily. i feel violated. i've not got dark issues in my past either, and i'm not religious.
all i can say is it helped me reading your site, that someone feels similarly.
A
female
reader, Unique1  +, writes (5 August 2007):
It would hurt me too... I know how you feel... I felt hurt and was dying, sad, angry when my bf was looking at porn.... I didn't feel like having sex, i didn't want it...I felt like if porn satisfies him than he wont have me.... He notices and asked-than i broke down and told him all... He stopped and for the most part understood me... (he did try to say porn was nothing, it was just for the moment, he dont have no feelings when it comes to it like with me ) etc...
If i was you i would talk to him..well i dont know now because you left him already. From what you said he is not the best man-he shouldnt have been on aol chatting with girls...Thats cheating!... Iif he comes aroung begging you back and you want to take him back, make sure he is serious about not doing it again...also tell him u need more attention,care and love to get in the mood again... I beleive that would help you.....
Good luck
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (4 August 2007):
 I don't blame you for feeling off sex at the moment due to not knowing if your guy is cheating on you or not.
I would sit down and chat to him about what you found and how its made you feel and ask him if he has cheated on you.
You may find he was just having a "nose" about and chatting to a few new people but you won't know until you ask. And you cant go on like this.
xxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): I POSTED THIS PROBLEMOOh i forgot to mention, we are not together, ive told him its finished because idont know what to do. Im lost
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