A
female
age
30-35,
*izzGuyana
writes:I have tried oral sex numerous time, but I still hate it. I don't understand how anyone can enjoy performing oral sex on a man. I feel sick, I get a sore throat, my jaws hurt, the taste is awful and the sight of semen make me want to vomit.My boyfriend loves performing and receiving oral sex. I never have to ask him to go down on me, he actually loves doing it. He gets extremely annoyed with me when I refuse to do it and I find myself making excuses so I get away with not doing it. When I do it, I don't do it because I want to or because I enjoy it. I only do it to please him. I don't even think I'm good at it, so I don't know why he wants me to do it all the time.I even told him he doesnt have to go down on me anymore, but he said he wants to. He's acting like oral sex is a necessity in our relationship. Shouldn't he understand or I'm I being childish?This is a question for the ladies:Do you honestly enjoy performing oral sex on your man or do you just do it because you want to satisfy him?
View related questions:
oral sex, semen Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 June 2011):
 I have the opposite problem... I LOVE giving my guy BJs... i really do.... and he will NOT perform oral on me.
thankfully I do not give it to receive...
sadly it's something I miss... receiving it... but for my BF it's just NOT an option.... so I find other ways to be loved by him...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): We all have at least moments of being selfish when expressing ourselves sexually.
I sometimes give my man oral when I don't feel like it as much. Preferring the times when I do so love it, and I do. I did not in my younger years, but find it sensual and I love his reactions and the intimacy. The fact that he give me oral is a motivator.
I go into a mental 'zone' state when giving him head... and do so at a higher frequency when I am into it. I amazed that I get wet when doing it to him. In the best of times it aroused me greatly in average times I am happy to make him happy and then go on... It depends... BUT I don't think both partners have to give at the same frequency. So long as there can be some compromise on both parts the relationship can stand.
In my case my man can have orgasm orally or thru sex. I can only thru oral so it would be a deal breaker if he NEVER gave me oral. But he likes it, but perhaps he's not always in the mood, but he tries and usually presents with enthusiasm. So it works. Likewise I do the same.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): Learn to like it. He'll leave yo if you don't. Seriously, oral sex is a must. I think lack of oral sex is why marriages don't work out and men / women cheat...
...............................
A
male
reader, pyan  +, writes (5 July 2010):
hi
so let us know how you went, do you or did you not.......
...............................
A
female
reader, MizzGuyana +, writes (5 July 2010):
MizzGuyana is verified as being by the original poster of the question @ Mis Isa. LOL your hillarious, thanks for your response. Wow can't believe you don't like receiving. Everyone is different.
@ the other anonymous writers. No he is definately not in this relationship for sex, I know he loves me, he's sacrificed alot. He's just a freak and he loves to explore different sexual acts. I'm sure we will be able to compromise.
He's coming over today so fingers crossed
Thank You
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): I do not give my bf oral sex every time we have sex. No way would I ever do that.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): You are wonderful to compromise by doing this even though you don't like it. Since you are compromising he needs to do the same and let you decide on the frequency. You don't have to do bj on demand, your mouth is connected to a person with feeling and desires too. Insist upon doing it at a frequency the is comfortable for you. You are making this to please him and if he loves you enough, cares about your comfort and satisfaction he will respect your wishes. If he doesn't respect your decision, you may what to examine his real feelings - is it love or just the sexual pleasure he gets from you, only you can tell. If it is for sex get out. You sound like a wonderful young woman and you will easily attract a man who cares as much for you as you for him. If he knows you don't like it and wants it anyway that says something about him. I cannot see how he can enjoy making you do something you don't like doing, but that's me. You must lean to communicate and set limits.
...............................
A
female
reader, Miss Isa +, writes (5 July 2010):
 Well all I can say is that... for me this is an absolute necessity. I must pop the D in my mouth automatically, no questions asked. None of my men have ever had a problem with me slobbin' the knob! However...I do not require them to lick my kitty. Not at all. I don't like it so...it becomes moot. Unbelievable? To some. I'm alright with this? Absofreakinlutely! When it comes to sex, I don't believe couples should have to "do" or participate in activities that all intended parties will not be comfortable with!
...............................
A
male
reader, pyan +, writes (4 July 2010):
hi
i agree my hubby commentted i am the same i do it but can take it or leave it do what you think sister when you want to do it do it they will always do it to us..
...............................
A
female
reader, MizzGuyana +, writes (4 July 2010):
MizzGuyana is verified as being by the original poster of the question @ adifferentperspective Oral sex can't be compared to washing the dishes, but I understand the point you were trying to get across. I do perform oral sex on my bf, everytime we have sex, the purpose of my question was to find out womens veiws on this topic. I just wanted to know if they actually enjoyed it.
All I was saying is that I don't like it and I don't understand why he can't accept the fact that I hate doing it. Now I feel so pressured, because if we had sex everyday, he would want me to go down on him atleast twice, everyday. That's insane. Isn't once a week enough :P
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): BTW I feel so sad for the poster who says he will withhold orgasms from his partner by not giving her oral if he does not get a bj. He is headed for big problems.
He really thinks that he is going find some woman who will let him use her vagina for his orgasms and not give her orgasms. Dah that was done 40 yrs ago, woman these days know they can get orgasms.
If you don't grow up, you're going to be posting on the sexless marriage web sites crying about your wife not having sex with you and how you don't want to divorce because you can't afford it and you can't find a friend outside the marriage who will let you use her either and you have resort to porn and paying for it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): Ithink you are being honest with him upfront that does not always happen. if a bj is more important to him than a relationship with you, then let him go, He will find someone who likes performing bj and you will find someone who respects your wishes. You are doing what is comfortable for you and being up front a sign of a young woman with a healthy self respect.
Men (actually boys) engage in name calling, scare tactics and manipulation to get a bj. These are all self-serving. There are some of those responses below.
You may be surprised, you may meet someone that you like giving bj, it happens a lot. It depends on the man, if he has the right chemistry for you may enjoy it. You’ll meet some boys and some men, there is a difference.
Boys base relationships and marriage on required sex acts. Men base relationships around the woman he loves and when she feels that type of love and caring she is willing to come out of her comfort zone and be guided by him. It's a real turn on to be in a relationship with a real man who is in control of himself. Big difference dealing with a man and a boy.
The games boys play leave vulnerable to manipulation because they tell the girl upfront what will make them jump through hops. So his girl will play him give him the required bj until the she is his wife and then stops.
...............................
A
female
reader, MizzGuyana +, writes (3 July 2010):
MizzGuyana is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do like pleasing my boyfriend, but in other ways. Why must I please him by oral sex if I don't like doing it? and I clearly explained my reasons why. If he didn't like performing a certain sexual act on me, I wouldn't get mad at him.After reading everyone's comments I have realised that there is nothing wrong with me, not liking oral sex, it's just not my thing.Yes I like receiving oral sex, but I don't beg him to do it. If he doesn't do it I'm still satisfied.Thank you for your suggestion but I doubt that it will make any difference.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010): "We have the pussy so we make the rules"? Um, no.
I've had several friends who complained that their boyfriends wouldn't go down on them but demanded that they give blow jobs, and I thought that situation was just as ridiculous as this one. Adifferentperspective has it right, it's about one partner pleasing another, not a woman dangling a carrot in front of a man.
"When I do it, I don't do it because I want to or because I enjoy it. I only do it to please him." So you don't enjoy pleasing your boyfriend?
...............................
A
female
reader, Violet009 +, writes (3 July 2010):
 hey there!
I can completely understand about not liking it. I never used to in all honesty. I had never really given a blow job properly until I got in the relationship that I'm in now. He taught me how to do it essentially but then I was willing to learn and I wanted to know what turned him on etc. It took me a bit of getting used to, I still cant deep throat or anything like that but it turns me on turning him on. The fact that he loves it so much in turn makes me love it.
As someone suggested how about having a shower together so you know hes all squeaky clean down there etc. But if it's really really not your thing (which is cool) he'll just have to respect that.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010): I think you just gotta suck it up and do it sometimes. No pun intended. Maybe only as a special treat? Like the others have said, use a condom and/or make sure he washes himself first. Or try it in the shower, it's sexy and takes away a lot of the problems you are describing. Also keep in mind you don't have to make him finish using only your mouth. You can alternate between hand and mouth and it feels just as good to him. Also, he doesn't have to go in your mouth so you don't have to taste it. Bring it to a finish in your hand. Good luck! I promise once you see him that happy you will like it much more.
...............................
A
male
reader, pyan +, writes (3 July 2010):
hi
my g/f can take it or leave it but what she gets out of it is seeing what it does for me. i expect your b/f likes doing it to you so don't worry about that.
make him shower and there should be no tast to him only when he comes. for special you may like to just give him hand as well.
its funny when my gf read your she agreed with the jaw thing her ex was very big and she had issues too
...............................
A
female
reader, tamara_r +, writes (3 July 2010):
 Gpod questipn Im sure its different for everyone bit Id say it more to please the other person. I was hella nervous the 1st time i did it, i would without a condom.. i dont have any phobias in that area but til this day i prefer not to let the guu finish off in my mouth..this is cuz the one time i did it was horrible and another was when you feel like the person os getting so into it they somewhat force you to taking more it annoys my gag reflexes so i have to back off..my alternatives is have the guys finish elsewhere externally of course. Strangely enough I encountered a guy who felt sick at the site of his own semen notsure why sonce its a normal thing, maybe its a mental thing? Anyway no I dont thonk its selfish to feel the way your feeling..its always a plus when not only the guy wants to give in that deptm but to actually excel in it. Id say express your concerns and work up to whatever goal or just limit what you can take,comfort wise.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010): I do i love doing it and also love receiving it. I think you should talk to him about it. I heard that some girl start to dislike it because their first experience was awful. Try to put some mints if your boyfriend got a bad taste. But if that won't help just talk about it with him.
But guys really love it and they will ask for it until they get it so you need to have a real conversation with him about it. And he might like to go down on you but i bet he is partialy doing it so you return the favor.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010): Oh boy, someone that understands me. I too think it's DISGUSTING; I don't like looking at a penis, I hate the way it might smell, the way it tastes, the sight of pubic hair on it and I hate seeing semen coming out of it. It's just NOT attractive. I don't get the sudden urge to ever just grab his manhood and shove it down my throat, no... I only do it because I want to please him, and because I feel bad if I don't, as if I'm a selfish girlfriend. I think it's perfectly normal to want to satisfy our "soulmates"...even if it means doing unpleasant things. Don't say you "hate" it...don't make it explicitly clear...
...............................
A
female
reader, c.lili  +, writes (3 July 2010):
 Not selfish at all. I understand the jaws hurting the taste etc...
It doesn't make me want to vomit it just gives me pleasure giving him pleasure. I like to turn him on.
Now have you thought of using a flavored condom because of the taste and semen?
Thing is sex is about giving and receiving.
I don't like woman on top, but I do it because I know he loves it, so I end up liking it too because I know he enjoys it. So ultimately I do enjoy oral sex and woman on top, just try to forget you don't like it and imagine yourself as a porn star! LOL
Then again if you truly don't enjoy giving your partner oral sex don't do it. Sex is only about fun (and babies one day ;) )
...............................
A
female
reader, Behkay +, writes (3 July 2010):
 I, on a personal note, enjoy giving my boyfriend oral. I know it absolutely pleases him and I love watching him enjoy it! Of course it's not the best smell and taste in the world but to me it's worth it. I actually enoy the feeling in my mouth haha but it just depends on you.
Believe me, guys don't know good from bad when it comes to oral. If there's a tounge, your all good lol. If you don't want to, tell him. I'm sure he'd understand.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 July 2010):
 I enjoy it and I do it to please him. It's the most sensual thing ever and it turns me on. Pain is a not good sign but at the same time no pain no gain. After vigorous sex, your back hurts, your genitals sore but during the session all you feel is pleasure, and pain is just an after effect but it's all worthwhile. You are not selfish. Don't make yourself like it even if other aunties say they like it. Don't make him pressure you into doing something you dislike. One day you may come to like it.
...............................
A
female
reader, prgirl71 +, writes (3 July 2010):
I don't hate performing oral sex on my man but it's not like I'm dying to do it either. I'm sort of neutral about it. I usually do it to please him or to have control in the situation for a while. He likes it but isn't fixated on it. The only time I absolutely get pissed off about it is when a guy (not my guy because he doesn't do this) pushes my head down there like I'm some cheap hooker. But part of me feels like guys SHOULD go down on us and we shouldn't have to do a damn thing. A guy can come if the wind blows...it's not quite that easy for us so they SHOULD have to work harder. We have the p*ssy so we are in charge. Not to sound vulgar but it's true.
Now to my less PMS type answer. You should START OUT sucking him a little to warm things up then slink your way up to his lips and kiss on him then pull him over on top of you. That way you're just using it as an appetizer and not a dessert. He'll be excited you did it first and without provocation and you don't have to finish him off via oral since you did it in the beginning. That may work.
...............................
|
