A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:here's the situation, my boyfriend says i never open up to him. but when i try to tell him why i get upset over situations he then gets upset with me telling me i get mad over petty things proceeds to tell me i can find someone else who doesn't treat me badly . honestly he makes me feel like i cant open up to him because when i try he makes my feelings feel invalid and then i stay upset for days and i cry and i feel all alone in this relationship. i don't understand why he cant accept my feelings for what they are "just feelings" and why he gets upset and says really hurtful things like i don't want to marry someone like this , if you think i want to have children with you your wrong and things of this sort and it really hurts deeply. so when he says things like this how can he expect me to talk to him? i am confused. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010): If u feel disgusted by sucking it... u can always use oral condoms where at least this way u can have a mint taste in ur mouth and then u can please your boyfriend and dont worry about him shooting up in ur mouth cause it will be inside of a condom. Try it they have all different flavors good luck and hoprfully ur situation with ur boyfriend can improve.
A
female
reader, haven  +, writes (3 July 2010):
Hi. It must be really hard for you to be in such a situation. My advice to you is to tell your guy about how you feel about his way of treating you. He asked you to open up to him right? So tell him that you feel what you're 'opening up' to him is just what you feel. I know that you really love your guy but does he really love you. As far as I know, in a relationship there should be understanding, deep understanding and deeper understanding. Tell your guy that it's hard for you to open up to him since everytime you do or try to do, he makes you feel like your feelings are not important and you aswell for him. If he really loves you, he'll listen, and understand like what our parents are to us. Like what I said, in a relationship, there should be understanding. If keeps on acting like a complete jerk, I think it's best for you to find a new guy. Anyways, if the both of you get married, if he's still that way, you'll just end up hurting each other especially yourself. You deserve better. But please give him a chance to prove himself to you if ever you're thinking of leaving him. Hear his side first, he might have a point. Goodluck. I wish you all the best.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 July 2010):
 He doesn't understand you talk about feelings for the sake of talking. He wants to offer solutions right away and you felt your feelings were dismissed. Both of you can work on it by coming to the middle. He can be patient and listen to every sentence without interrupting, repeat or paraphrase what you just said or say I understand what you are going through. He also has to learn to react less to your feelings and just let you vent. You can talk about your feelings, pause at each sentence, listen to his feedback, then thank him for listening to you. He's not heartless, it just how differently men and women's brains are wired and how we express and interpret language differently.
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