A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship with a girl for like six years and in June 2009 , all of sudden I dumped her saying that she was hell of a talkative and belong to lower class than my family. She was begging and doing all sort of desperate things not let me go but still I moved out of her life. However, March this year, I decided being back in her . After two months efforts , she let me get in and I was surprised to see that how much pain I had inflected on her during those last two years by leaving her without any solid reason. She was taking sleeping pills and other drugs to get some rest at nights as my memories would keep her awake . She says that she still loves me but the hatred for me is make her love minute . Now I find myself so small in front of her and the sense pride in me being from richest family seems to have gone. Oh yeah, she says she will marry me only if I can do anything on my own not being proud of my dad’s wealth. I don’t know what I need to do to get rid of the guilt inside me and hatred she has for me despite we are being together? I hate myself for being so brutal in the past. Please help me , people! Thank you!
View related questions:
drugs, move on, moved out, sleeping pills Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): I am the same guy who posted the question here. Last night, I went to my GF’s place and took her to her room where I found myself cried my heart out continually for like 15 minutes which made me feel light. I didn’t say anything except crying on my past action which had left her in extreme pain for two years. When I stopped crying, she kissed my head and made me sleep there. I am no more proud guy of my dad’s wealth and started working as sales manager with multi-national company over here.She does not talk much but her expression is telling me that she's getting back into her own slowly. Don’t you people think that her last night gesture showing that she is gradually forgiving me for having pulled out of her life without any solid reason in the past? You people’s precious views on this would be valued! Thanking you all in advance !
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): Oh yeah, she says she will marry me only if I can do anything on my own not being proud of my dad’s wealth
As if the rest of it didnt attest to her kind loving nature, and the type of girl she is/was, the above statement says it all...SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR MONEY AND NEVER WAS. She loved you for you, for who you were, completely unselfishly and without personal motivation or gain.
And you hurt her so tremendously, and worse yet, she never deserved it.
Its going to take ALOT of hard work- alot of effort, alot of proving, alot of deep emotional understanding and desire to have that deep connection with her. And then some. Are you prepared to be that MAN instead of that BOY? Or will you just kick her out of your life again?
...............................
A
female
reader, Irish49  +, writes (14 July 2011):
 Well, plainly she loves you because she is with you..right? But, it appears she has not forgiven you or is experiencing difficulty fully 'trusting' you. You should get out there and make a good life with her, rebuild the trust through loving actions by putting her first, in your life. And if you haven't stopped already, you do need to Stop depending on that false pride you got from the 'family wealth'. Let's face it, it sounds like you suffered with an unhealthy emotion called... arrogance. (and I state this only to help you gain insight..it's not said to offend you) Arrogance is a sign of a weaker, less confident person who allows this negative emotion to distract them from a more rational, positive way of dealing with things. In your case, this 'arrogance' was used to wield a very cruel blow in her life. So yes, she is giving you a loud and clear message...gain a healthy hold in life on your own, without depending on the false pride of family wealth. Because by having this mindset, you tended to blind yourself to the realities of loving a person, irregardless of her station in life. By reading your post, I think this realization has hit you and you have experienced some mature growth by not using your family's wealth to give you that confidence? Hopefully, you are doing something, to gain that healthy perspective of becoming an independent, confident young man...all on your own.
Perhaps you need to talk from your heart with her and let her know that she is number one...the girl you want to build a future with. Apologise, talk it out and ask her to start anew with you. Wipe the slate clean. Be patient..it wll take time. But..work hard and just let go of the guilt and self-hatred and start living your life in a happy way.
Good luck to you both.
...............................
A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (14 July 2011):
 Get her forgiveness and then forgive yourself. Give her time to get reacquainted with you and let her see that you won't hurt her again. Don't force her to try to forgive you so fast. Even though it was 2 yrs ago, she's still hurting and has a feeling you'll do it again. So give her time and show her you care and let her know that you will always be there for her when she needs you, whether she's forgiven you or not.
...............................
A
female
reader, babygirllovej +, writes (14 July 2011):
 You should feel guilty. You should be sooo grateful she let you back in. What you did I certainly wouldn't let you back in.
You are with a kind and loving person and you broke her heart. I would concentrate on her hatred for you more then your guilt. I would work on making her feel loved and cherished and make steps for her to let go of her anger and move on.
THEN when she has moved on you don't have to feel guilty anymore. When she is happy then you will be happy. You still feel guilt because she is still suffering because of what you did.
...............................
|
