A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am having a real problem with my sister in law and her family. She is married to my brother with whom to be fair I have an ok relationship with. We are close in age but not close to each other. We email eachother on average once a week but then we could go weeks without contact. Howver, my sister in laws sister and I went to school together and hate each other. As a result I feel I am being pushed more and more out of my brothers life, which I know is not his choice but being led by his wife. Also I am moving abroad next year and starting a family with my husband. My husband is disugusted by the way my brother and his wife exlude us from their lives. I do not know what I should do. I can nver meet my brother alone as the wife always comes along even when i try and hint to meet my brother one on one. It is all a little strange. I know that mt past behaviour has not been exemplary as I was a wild child but I have had util very recently a fantastic career, salary, own home ect. Now I am a student so I can teach abroad. I am basically afraid that I will lose and be alienated from my brother forever once I move abroad (different continent). What advice can you give me to rectify this situation? And no I have zero contact with my sister in law unless she is in the company of my brother. It is all quite horrible and I am made to feel like the bad person when it was my sister in laws's sister who was upset with me in high school beacuse I was popular and intelligent when she was just a nerd. But this was 15+ years ago and so childish!Help!!!!Ps. My husband says I should just move on and wipe my hands of them as all I need is him and our family (my own and his)whom I am very close to. Still it breaks my heart as my brother is my only sibling and my blood.
View related questions:
move on, sister in law Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 September 2009):
I come from a house where my family on my mother's side has been torn apart by arguing. My own mother hasn't spoken to her family in 20 year. However, she gave her family an ultimatum and they didn't go for it, so she cut them out. It was and remains the best thing she did with them.
You and your brother need to meet alone and talk. This means no wives, sisters or anything. Talk to him and see what he wants. Ultimately, you have your own children to think about. They must come first. If your brother wants a relationship, he will tell you, if he doesnt, be very very brave and cut them. You will only end up even more hurt if you keep speaking to them and they argue with you. It will also affect the relationship with your husband and kids. Focus on them. Hope that helps a bit. x
|
