A
female
age
36-40,
*ani91621
writes:So me and my live in boyfriend have been together for roughly a year and a half. He is 29 and I am 25. Me and him were so in love but it seemed that when we moved in with each other (about 6 months ago) our relationship started to crumble. we did not have sex, hang out, do anything together. When we did have sex it was not passionate and it was quick and to the point. Things started to get worse and I have him an ultimatum...work on it or I'm done! The next day he told me its time to move on. I was HEARTBROKEN! I did not want to break up. Guess I thought he would change. He told me he was unhappy and he needed to focus on himself for a while. That entire week he went no where and locked himself in his new room. Finally on Friday he wrote me a 4 page letter telling me how bad he is hurting and how much he loves me. He told me he cares for me and does not want to date anyone else. He said he hopes we can someday rekindle our love for one another, he said he locked himself in his room cause if he saw me he would want to grab me and never let go and it was too hard for him. After that day he started sleeping in my bed. We still gave each other space but it was nice to be next to each other. We ended up having sex and it was the most passionate love making we have ever had. After a couple more days he said he hope we can still hang out and hopefully get that old thing back. But he still cannot be with me. He said he needs to learn how to work as a team in a relationship and find out whether he needs his independence more than a relationship. He swore up and down he does not want to see anyone else. So today I am moving out and I am dying inside because I am hoping everything he is saying is true and not just an act. It seems like he really truly loves me and wants to be with me but we both have are own issues. I def. was way to clingy and forgot how to have my own life in the relationship. I know I pushed him away allot, but I see that now. I don't want to lose him. Has anyone been through this and gotten back together? Help!!!!!!!!
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heartbroken, move on, moved in Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): Well do YOU think he is being true? Logically speaking he is showings signs of sincerity so I don't know why u would ask if he is real or not coz I don't see any signs to suggest that he is not being real.
Real or not, I hope things work out and you guys can find yourselves through this ordeal.
A
female
reader, dani91621 +, writes (23 September 2009):
dani91621 is verified as being by the original poster of the question He helped me move last night and he stayed to hang out a bit afterwards. When he was leaving he gave me a hug and walked away. Then he turned around and came back and gave me another hug and started to cry. When he went home he text me and told me he was so sorry for this and he loves me more than anything and he will do everything in his power to get me back. Does it sound like he is being true?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): I'm sorry things have taken so long to come out. Communication is always key and he's been reaching out to you. Have you told him how you felt as well? Writing a 4 page letter isn't easy but it allows one to write what has been on their mind where they would be afraid to express verbally. I think it is possible to get back together, prolly ask for a second chance in the relationship. Express to him how you feel and that you don't want to lose him. Then again some distance may be better for him and you as well. Some people need that to realize what means to them the most. So if you tell him how you feel and he still wants his space then give it to him. You both need it. I myself have been through this but I havn't gotten back together. I think if my ex would have express how she felt and told me how much she wanted me I prolly would have stayed with her and try to work things out...together.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 September 2009):
Hmm. This sounds more like he doesn't want the commitment, but does want the sex. If he's talking about focusing on himself more, then you might be better off without him. Don't be his doormat. Men can lie through their teeth to get what they want.
I know you don't want to lose him, but please don't wait around for him to suddenly come back. I don't think he will. Better for you to grieve, then move on and find someone who will commit to you fully.
Don't be led around on a string. You're not his toy. xx
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