| A
female
,
*ipzyfrench
writes: i hate living at home...and the thought of coming home makes me feel ill...my mum and dad are forever blaming things on me especially mum...even if its her fault...there soo many rules otherwise i get grounded i do loads of chores which i have to fit in with homework ...but mum believes chores are better than homework and that im trying to use it as an excuse....i hate going home..i dont hug my parants or do anything affectionate with them...i have a step brother who is 6 and he is always getting me into trouble..my best m8 calls me 'Cinderella'........i havnt got the guts to stand up to them...i dont tell them any off my problems..and i used to self harm.......i dont get any encouragment with my drama or art...or anything......they never turn up at school plays or anything...........i never give in the parants evening slip...........i really want to live in a childcare...be adopted or somethin...ive felt like this since i was around 7-8 and im 13..........what is happening.....im soo confused and i dont know what to do...please help me!!
View related questions:
living at home Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Wolf Paws +, writes (14 November 2006):
 oh and www.talktoacounsellor.co.uk might be useful. I only had a quick look at it but who knows! (And its all in the comfort of your computer chair, all over interent and stuff so your mum needn't know if you know how to wipe the history files on your browser and stuff.) gdgd
Wolf Paws
-x-
A
female
reader, Wolf Paws +, writes (14 November 2006):
Hey, ya know you can always come round and stay for a bit if you want to. You know who i am and you know where i live. I know it won't cure the problem but it might help ease the pain when things get really stressful and even if it only helps a little i think you ROCK at drama and your art is inspirational. You'll probably kill me when you read this but....please dont :)Wolf Paws-x-p.s icecubes are a great release thing. Its messy but if you just hold them and feel them melt its really theraputic.
...............................
A
female
reader, Wolf Paws +, writes (14 November 2006):
Hey, ya know you can always come round and stay for a bit if you want to. You know who i am and you know where i live. I know it won't cure the problem but it might help ease the pain when things get really stressful and even if it only helps a little i think you ROCK at drama and your art is inspirational. You'll probably kill me when you read this but....please dont :)Wolf Paws-x-
...............................
A
female
reader, Princess_81 +, writes (12 November 2006):
I really understand where your coming from as growing up myself I had many rows with both my parents and I couldnt wait to move out, when I did move out the relationship with my parents became better.
I think you should tell your parents how you feel no matter how difficult you find it to approach them. Sometime adults find it difficult to communicate too, if you still feel unhappy you should talk to a teacher or a counsellor at your school or a social worker, you are young and your youth is susposed to be the best time of your life.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006): if you have a stepbrother which of your parents is acctually your parent as if the stepbrother is younger surely he must belong to one of the parents in your house. i am assuming that as a result one of your parents is not your real parent. if it is your mum in this case it sounds like like typical step parent, they often treat kids that arent theirs badly and can manipulate the real parent into agreeing with them by being a domineering adult against a child with no ohter real parent to stand up for the child. if this sounds like your situation then speak to your parent and and explain what you think is happening. speaking to a helpline or counsellor would be a better solution. on the other hand young people often exaggerate things and fail to see the bigger picture. your parents could also be demanding and distant a surefire way to alienate your child and make them feel unloved. or you might just be depressed. when this stepparent came in did they replace a paernt who left or died, if so deal with that as it might be the underlying cause.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006): Just so you know, there's quite a good website that you might find some comfort in: www.DepressionAlliance.org
...............................
A
female
reader, Ms.syk0 +, writes (11 November 2006):
Hey Dipzy,
I was a kid with lots of similar problems like you. Except I went through foster care and group homes...
It's asolutely NOT what you think it is. It's not a good place, no one will ever be there for you for sure, when the food sucks you cant eat what you want... there are many bad aspects but the worse is YOU DONT HAVE A HOME!!! you dont have a place to come HOME to and say this is MY room and be safe and be able to do whatever you please in it.
Many kids that go through foster care are abused by their foster parents... I was lucky and did not suffer that.
Your step-brother will grow up and find better things to do.. don't worry about that. It will take time though so be patient.
If you have many chores and homework and stuff, you also need some time to have fun! or else you will have bad thoughts.
I think you should try and talk to your Dad - you seem to have conflicts with your mum, how about asking him for a night out just u and him and have a serious talk with him. Write down on a piece of paper all the things you need to say so you dont forget any.
Make sure you tell him you need encouragement and tell him you want a hug a day or something :).
Maybe you could ask your folks to have your step brother do some of the chore to help you with your homework.
At the age you are at many changes are happening in your mind and body that you don't quite understand yet and the worse is yet to come... you need to have goals ans be happy when you get there girl!!! life is hard and this is just the begining.
I suggest you get a psycologist, someone who is qualified to help you along the way. You will benefit alot from that.
Take care Cinderella, Don't miss the Ball :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): Hi Anon, I think you need to find a confidental youth helpline to ring, about some of these problems your having at home, they have special social workers who can maybe get help for you and your family they can get you connected to the sort of help you need,
It is a problem that your parents dont concider your education to be importent, this is your future!
and it sounds a little more like child labor then chores, so its good you reconise this is a problem some young people in your position think this sort of things normal.
It must be so tough and upsetting for you at the moment but you are not alone you are strong, you've already took the first step by posting here now take it one day as a time hun, and remember although this is problem that needs sorting
these sorts of things can make you stronger and can make you a better person then someone without as much hurt....
I promice you things are going to get better for you. You are a worthwhile young girl with her whole life ahead of her you are brave and loved and your gardian Angel is with you as she or he have always been(You dont have have to spirtually minded to belive this any religen can have this faith and ask your angels to help you.)
ring the confidential helpline number and soon things will get better for you Im sure, Take care of yourself sweetheart.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): Oh Hun! Y'know, so many kids feel this way, you'd be surprised, perhaps even someone that you're close to. The first step is try to talk to your parents and explain in a mature manner why you feel like this. Perhaps they don't realise that they're making you so miserable and upset. If you talk to them and quietly tell them how you feel they might change. If you do and they won't listen then tell them you understand that you have to do your fair share of chores but you have GCSE's coming up and school is becoming forever more important and you need to concentrate on your studies. Ask them why they can't support you in that. If they still won't co-operate then talk to a school nurse or another trusted adult to see what they can do for you.
About the whole leaving home issue; that's not an option for you right now. If you leave home to run away somewhere else then just think now, while you're tucked up in your bed you could be outside wondering where your next meal will be coming from, no matter how much money you take. You have to stick it out for now; only until you're only 18 maybe. Have you read articles in the paper or magazines about poor kids who felt they had to run away and then ended up on the streets? It's bad. And you may think that it's not true but your parents would be worried sick. It's a cold, hard world out there and if you run away there are going to be few people who are willing to help you, so stay home where hep is available and you can be taken into care if that is what you want; remembering, a lot of kids in care would love to have a home.
I'm sorry to hear that you self-harm, and I also know it's addictive; I self-harmed when I was younger. Try and do it a little less each week/ day (however many times you do it) and then try other methods of venting out your anger, that's how I stopped. For example, you could try going for a long walk every time you feel yourself bubbling over with rage or go up to your room and punch the pillow over and over, imagining that the pillow is the person's face that you are annoyed with. Just find your own way to vent out your anger without self-harming.
You could try ringing 0800 11 11: Childline. It's for young people with all sorts of different problems. If you don't wat your parents to hear you or something then ring on your mobile because it's free.
Remember all the time; it's your parents who are in the wrong, not you. They are being very unreasonable and unfair. You obviously are very unhappy and it's not your fault at all, so don't worry. There is help out there and you need it Hun XxXxX
...............................
|
