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I hate my bf's weed habit! Help

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 January 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 17 January 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

ok, i have a boyfriend and we been together for three years now, and about a year ago i told him that he had to choose me or the weed...and he said that he would stop. and about a week ago we got into a fight and it came out that he never stopped smoking...nobody in my family smoke and i really hate it when people do...but i love him and dont know what i should do....but i keep thinking about me wanting to live and make a family with him..i dont know what to do..can anyone help me???

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010):

that's a hard one.

but i can tell you this: i used to smoke a lot (cannabis obviously, thats what we're talking about here). i dont smoke anymore. but when i did, one of my ex dumped me and one of the reasons for it was weed. i regret it so much right now that i started a new relationship with this other girl, that when she told me to stop, i did immediately! so you want to actully help him out? be tough and dump him. if he stops and goes back to you and you still like him then sccept him back obviously

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010):

He's addicted (mentally, not physically) to the weed. It's his choice over you, so either get ready to take a second seat to his drug of choice or DUMP HIM...

Simple- druggies lie, and then it gets UGLY...

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A female reader, marder Canada +, writes (14 January 2010):

marder agony auntIf you stated dating him and you knew he was smoking weed at the time, then you can't say it's a deal breaker after the fact.

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A female reader, easygoing 3 United States +, writes (14 January 2010):

Hi Right now I am going through breaking up with my fiance okay we are still living together but the first of February bye okay true do not waste your time on someone on drugs he is to me in denial I am having to listen to you still wont me to leave the first yes I have a 16 year old handicapped daughter this wedding should of happened here we went together broke up like 14 or 15 years ago got back together last April he broke up with me.

Got back together August of last year we lived together 4 months and engaged 2 months I had planned the wedding for July 10th of this year I am dealing with someone who is sneaky and wont talk about things he should now things have started coming out the big one someone stuck a note in my door telling me he was a crackhead last week all because they were concerned he was alright when he first moved in

but then wham took a 90 degree turn the first red flag young guys and he is not as settled as I thought either.

He loans the car out I know most do not give him any gas money he stayed out on Xmas Eve we had been engaged 2months all day called then did not come on until Xmas morning tells me he slept in the car did not wont to wake me up oh that is good then turned around did it that following Saturday I got on him both times I was told in the letter when he stayed out all night he was getting high now I do not know your circumstances but I went through the drug thing with my daughters father live with him 9 1/2 months fine at first he worked and everything got fired and started the drugs in love foolish put him out took back in but I woke up girl and he well I had to speak to my landlord because my niece she lied would not help me.

He moved someone in I said no he said yes my landlord spoke to the both of them they left so no not again and the taking things my fiance so far he got rid of his tv and dvd player I find myself hiding things I got to get my engagement ring out of here and pawn hate that was pretty he asked last night oh you are wearing my ring it hurts believe me sorry to write so much but you do what is best for you do you live with your boyfriend email me back

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A female reader, Ask_Pol United Kingdom +, writes (13 January 2010):

Ask_Pol agony auntWeed in my book is a total no no. As it seems to be in yours. You have to think about what is right for you but not only he is smoking weed he lied to you about the fact he had quit. And as CaringGuy said it effects his fertility as well as your mental state.

If I was in your position, I would have ended it there and then.

Hope you work out what you want.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (13 January 2010):

If he won't quit the weed for you, he's not worth it. Weed can affect fertility, so he won't be any use for kids. Don't waste time on a druggie.

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