A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 21 years old and I am worried that I will never find true passionate love.My biggest worry in the world is no one will ever love me in that passionate head over heels, one and only way. I don't connect with people my own age, because most them are still maturing and growing and trying to figure out who they are.for the first time they are testing their boundaries with alcohol/drugs/relationships/work/religion ect...They don't have career goals or life goals, they don't know what they want yet. they are learning to be independent and stand on their own two feet for the first time since they left home, most of them still depend on their family for something while they are at university but I am past that I have been past for a long time.I know who I am. I know what I want to do, and I am doing it. I know what I want from life, my priorities have been set. The only piece left in the puzzle is a man that I can share my life with completely, someone to come home to that I can love, share, cry, and laugh with.But I don't think it will ever happen since I tend to like men who are at the same place in their life that I am, but they are all about 10-15 years older than me, and they don't want a young girl because we grow up in a culture where that isn't normal, and everybody wants normal. They don't even give me a chance to prove that I am capable of adult conversation and communication, they just look at me and see a number, my age.I had a very difficult childhood, and I grew up fast, I was the youngest. My sister is 38 and my brother is 31, but I was the one who had to take of them emotionally and physically. My mother was gone more than she was home, flight attendant. I got a hardship license when I was 13, went to the grocery store, deposited checks, paid bills, and just ran the house. She also needed me to take care of her insecurities and emotional health, "yes mom I am proud of you", if you catch her in the right mood she will admit that I held her together and that I raised her and my siblings. My father was bipolar, sometimes he was manic and mean, very mean, and sometimes he was so depressed he couldn't get out of bed for days to even take a shower and I held the family together when he put a bullet in his head. They depended on me to do the funeral, and to take care of their emotions. My sister got married and has kids but I am like her marriage counselor, telling her how to communicate with her husband.But enough of that, I was just trying to make a point that I am not some idiot child without any life experience. Anyways, I feel like I am in limbo with love. I feel like I am caught, no guys my age like me because I have bigger goals than Friday nights party, older guys just think I am a sterotypical 21 year old girl. I don't really want to wait for 10 years for guys my age to realize what they want, I want to move forward not stand still waitingI have always thought I wanted to meet my future husband sooner rather than later, so we have more time to share together, more memories to create....Do I have hope? What should I do?
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female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (10 October 2008):
 Hi Sweetheart
Ive read ur question and it speaks volumes about how you have had to grow up so very quickly but also how terrible parts of your life were...I havent much time to talk now as I have work, But I would like to speak later and try and help in some way..Post traumatic stress can develop after such a terrible shock and although you have said you are older than your years , This I believe hunny but also the need to find love is sometimes the need to be loved and you will one day find love and have wonderfull memorys, Im a little concerned that all your past issues have affected your outlook on life and its not suprising at all sweetheart, you have been through hell and back..Id like to talk more love and help if I can TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): When I read your question i feel as u r in a confusion.nobody is understanding you.they consider you as a kid.i am in the same situation and i am the same as you.so why dont u marry me.i am in ethiopia(east africa).if u didnt undermined me i am ready to marry you.believe me i have a good life experiance,and i know what to be in the future.so pls marry me;you can get me by [email address blocked]
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