A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi Aunts,Long story short, a woman I met lied to me, took money from me, and treated me like dirt. She refuses to acknowledge she did anything wrong. I gave her about $5000 because she said she was in dire need. She led me on. Turns out she was far from in dire need. She had sugar daddies whom had sex with to get money while I was giving her money as well. She makes more money than me. She never had any romantic interest in me at all. She lied to me about so many things. Now, she is completely ungrateful. I hate her. I have not hated anyone so much in a very long time.I think now about revenge. I know I will not do anything because any time I have ever taken revenge on anyone it always made me feel guilty after. But what do I do wuith these terrible feelings?What do you do when someone hurts you but they feel no remorse and turn it back on you?Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): Sometimes, when you've been in a bad situation, counseling is the best way to deal with the anger and hatred. If your insurance doesn't cover it, there are nonprofits, religious groups, and city or county-run centers that provide services.
Your feelings toward your ex are perfectly natural; however, if they continue unchecked, they will chip away at your soul. Ampersand is right, the best revenge will be to work through your emotions and be happy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): Hi Aunts,
I am the OP. Thank you for the understanding responses. I thought I had gotten over it, but sometimes the hurt flares up and I get so angry. I know revenge is wrong and pointless and I have been going on for a while now, but have to remember to keep going. Thanks for listening.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): "Now, she is completely ungrateful.""I hate her."Stop hating someone, accept that you met someone who is very disturbed, and stay away from her as far as you can.I met someone once, through my work, he was disturbed but I couldn't see that, normal on the surface, held a job, looked normal and acted normal, married, had kids. Then one day, he killed his wife and kids with a knife.All I can say is that I'm glad it wasn't my wife and kids that he killed that day, or me for that matter.Such people exist, they are deeply disturbed. This guy was found by a forensic psychologist to be a "psychopath".Who knows what your gf was, all you know is that you can't have her around at all.There are a lot of good people out there...keep looking.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (20 July 2011):
 Unfortunately, I doubt revenge will make you feel better long term.
You might feel high for a short while, but you could also get yourself in trouble depending on what you have planned.
I would suggest you speak to a lawyer to see if you have any legal recourse to get some/all of your $ back.
In the future, do not give $ without investigating the real need and knowing a person extremely well.
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A
male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (20 July 2011):
 Your feelings are totally understandable and to a large degree natural. If we are hurt, the impulse to hurt back is actually a natural defence mechanism; the idea being that if we hurt the aggressor back they will leave us alone. Obviously, when it comes to things like that those feelings will be on a different scale and set in a slightly different context they manifest in a slightly different way but the underpinning raison d êtere is basically the same.
Well you know what not to do; which is not to act on them, however tempting and understandable that actually is and you can't simple wish them away. What you have to do is more accept them and wait for them to dissolve which they eventually will. Part of this is letting go of this experience and taking the necessary lessons from it; probably you need to be a bit more circumspect about who you trust (though not too much so)etc, etc.
Do not, whatever you do, act on these feelings because it will only start a spiral of recrimination and regret as you yourself know. I know it is easy for me to write what I did above and harder for you to enact. If you are struggling then every time you have a vengeful thought try and exercise them by doing something you find relaxing (take a bath, walk play a game, etc, whatever is good for you). Good luck and remember you will get there in the end :)
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (20 July 2011):
 That was a horrible thing she did, but I think you should take it as a lesson learned. If I were you, I would definitely want to get revenge. But nothing good is going to come out of it. Don't stoop to her level. Just make sure she never comes in your life again and be cautious of people like her.
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