A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I live in a split family. I have three kids and my husband has one at home.. I am so frusterated because I demand my kids have respect for their stepfather and I never say anything when he steps in to disciplines them.. I on the other hand have to walk on eggshells when it comes to his kid. I stay at home with the kids and I don't ask anymore out of his son then I do with my kids. I am a firm believer in they should have daily chores and not be spoiled brats.. Well recently his son threw a huge trantrum (this is a teenager) and was rude, rebelious, and I wouldn't talk to a stranger on the street the way he talked to his father.. The trantrum was thrown because he didn't get something he wanted.. well my husband blamed me for this trantrum because one of his son's biggest complaints is that I make him put things away after using them and he has to keep his room clean. The real problem is He is SPOILED and knows there are never consequnces for his actions and then his father always gives in to his demands and I am the scape goat.. I am guessing this is how my husband makes himself feels better. I am really at a stand still I don't know what to do.. Do I just suck it up and take it for the next two years until he moves out??? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (20 July 2011):
 Sadly, the split family situation is a tough one. Both parents really have to be on the same page and treat their kids equally. If there are one set of rules for one set of children, the other children will be resentful of it.
Be it as it may, it sounds like your husband definitely is not on the same playing field.
I think you'll have to sit down and explain to your husband how you are feeling and try and come together on a common set of rules / morals that you want to raise your children by. I think you would have the same problem you are having today even if you had biological children together.
Do note, that this is a common sticking point among "blended" families, so you may have to "take it" for a while. It can be extremely difficult for children and the other parent to adjust to a new set of standards. If you find that it is affecting your relationship with your husband, you may want to seek outside help -- like a therapist to help you find common ground to work from.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (20 July 2011):
 Talk to your husband. You don't deserve to be disrespected by his son. He should be defending you. Talk to your husband, and hopefully you two will agree that things need to change. And then both of you can sit down with him and have a serious talk. Tell him what you expect and that it needs to be done. Don't let him stay in this mindset, or he will never learn and make it in life.
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