A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:please help me im very confused. i just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. hes still crazy in love with me but thing is i feel smothered by love. and now this other guy who i've only properly met a week ago but who i've sort of known for a few months has told me he's been in love with me for a long time and wants to be with me. and i have another ex boyfriend who wants to be with me. and all i want is to be single and not be smothered by people wanting something from me. i feel crazy. i should be flattered that these three guys want to be with me but instead i feel overwhelmed. sometimes i just have to wonder why do these guys want me and love me so much?? ive had this issue since i was 14 and im 20 now. every boyfriend wants to marry me and is madly in love with me but i need my space. if i feel smothered i get panicked and i run away. i hurt them because i cant breathe sometimes. this is a really strange issue, i know. but if anyone out there has any insight, any advice for me, please help! cos its like im in deep water and ive been paddling for ages trying to keep my head above water :( thanks x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): I think you want the attention as it has been going on since you were 14, you just don't know how to control it once it's upon you. You need to tell guys how you feel early on and warn them that you don't want to be loved so much that you feel suffocated. You need to express this often and firmly. Given that your boyfriend of three years is history it shows you never really told him what you needed.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): Are you communicating this to the men you are with? Are you tellign them how you feel or are you suffering in silence? Beucase you know.. if you don't tell them, they have no way of fixing it or holding back their emotions a bit.
If you have communicated your issue, then maybe it's the type of guys you're ending up with?
A lot of guys probably feel just as smothered as you and have run from jsut as many serious relationships. This is part of compatability. You have to find someone who fits all of your needs and wants.
~SY.
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A
female
reader, Vickett0410  +, writes (13 June 2009):
 I totally understand how you feel, I havn't had many boyfriends, but the ones i've had have all thought I was the "one" and it really is sort of scary. But, maybe you should just tell your ex-boyfriend that you need some space from him. This might show him that he could lose you properly if he doesn't give you the space he needs.
But be gentle as I know how he feels too.
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