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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am so lonely all the time. Am I codependent?I am a 31 Y.O. Female and an only child. I have had the same partner for 8yrs. When he leaves for work, (only works 2 days a week) or takes a very long shower, or is working on a project in another room, I get lonely. I spend all day on the internet (myspace) looking at things and sending emails to friends to help me with that. Sometimes I go on long walks up the street to the shopping district so I can people watch. I am not interested in meeting other men. I just want to be with my BF 24/7 or find a nice trusting female to hang out with. It seems like I can just never be alone and be happy. Do you think this is silly or Crazy? Is this what they call codependency?Thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007): I know exactly what you mean.
I am a 22 year old female.
My boyfriend moved out a week ago after us living together for 3.5 years. I work all day, and he is here after work to eat with me and spend some time with me, but when he leaves I have been going straight to sleep, which is odd for me. I am so bored and lonely sitting here by myself. I can't even watch tv, I just stare off into space, letting my mind wander. The funny thing is, when he did live here, I would do something like go on the computer for a few hours, by myself, and think nothing of it. I am just used to him being in the other room.
I too would miss him when he went into the shower or to take the dog for a walk, etc. Now I find myself waiting for him to come back when he's not. I am also upset with him for not being here, sad when he leaves, etc.
A
female
reader, karenw61 +, writes (22 July 2006):
hi
you need to learn to like being with your self.
you can never truely be happy with any one else until you are happy with your self
regards karen
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A
female
reader, Clarey  +, writes (21 July 2006):
 Being alone doesn't usually mean sitting on the sofa staring into space! Sometimes I think I just want to be alone, but I do the ironing and watch tv for the sounds of voices, which is comforting. The radio is always on in the kitchen and I spend some time answering these problems/questions, but not much because I am very busy.
If I were to write a list of things I like to do that are meaningful it would be, spending time with my partner of course, but also cooking (very serious about this!) painting and drawing, riding horses, friends, walking, playing guitar and travel. I have lists of things I enjoy now and things I aspire to do such as learning to dive and sail. I am also going to retrain professionally.
It has not always been so rosy for me and I remember retreating into slight depression and loneliness when my life had lost the focus that it should have had for ME. Making other people the big deal is not what I mean, you can't live your life through others. There is a great focus on trivia at the moment, with people who do and acheive nothing, becoming famous on tv. Shopping and bling is supposed to excite as, as well as these inconsequential role models. It depresses me. What about all the brilliant people taking hold of their lives and making a difference for others. We hardly hear a thing about them. No Ghandi, no Mother Theresa, just Paris and Victoria, footballers wives and rubbish.
I am not surprised that lives get reduced to shopping and the internet, but that is meaningless, hollow and soul-less. I am sure you can put a bit more meaning back into you life and that you are simply bored.
I think you need to be inspired by something and find a new interest or personal challenge. Don't pressure yourself but spend a little time thinking about things that you would love to do and have not so far. Life can be so exciting, brilliant, meaningful not meaningless.
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