A
male
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anonymous
writes:She's not comfortable with public shows of affection. I told her no PDAs is totally fine with me. She was reassured and concluded: "I'm glad we both feel the same way about it!".I chose silence over sharing the fact that I've definitely had some pretty wild sex in public with girlfriends that were into it and that I'm obviously pretty comfortable with PDAs but I don't need them. I really don't need PDAs but I'm ok with being a little wild. Was this a good idea or should I have shared this "detail"?From what I understand, inappropriate for her is anything that strays from her lips. We recently started dating, are not calling each other bf/gf and haven't done anything more intimate than kissing. I'm in absolutely no rush.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): Don't lie to her and don't let her be misled. I would tell her the truth.
You don't need to say all the details of it. But just tell her that you have not always kept it 100% behind closed doors in the past. Tell her that PDA is not a great big huge turn-on for you or anything, but you wanted to be honest with her since she was getting a false idea about your history.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): Rule number 1 of dating is to never bring up your exes, that includes past sexual acts, unless asked.
That's, that. Never volunteer information like that.
She just wanted to see if you were okay with no PDA and you are. Done.
You're not deceiving her in any way. She asked, you told.
Remember, never volunteer information about your past relationships. That's the best way to make a girl feel insecure or retro-jealous. Especially if she thinks you're into wild outdoor sex and she's not. She'll then think that you preferred your exes because they did like it. You see where I'm coming from? Don't do it, ever!
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (20 August 2010):
 Honestly, if you're ok with her guidelines, then I wouldn't bother. Most people think they can handle hearing about the past until they do. Since she isn't asking, no point in bringing it up. You aren't hiding anything unless you lie about it when asked. Sometimes we truely better not knowing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGreat answers! Thanks!
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A
female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (20 August 2010):
 Is the information of any use to her? No, so don't tell her. Moreover, you just started dating. What is the point in giving every detail of sex with former boyfriends and girlfriends at this stage? Even later on, it can even cause a pile of trouble in case of jealous partners, so you need to know your partner well. You are in the early dating stages, so enjoy this time with all it implies. Later on when the topic of sex arises, you can share your fantasies and see which are... applicable, if you get that far. And are you sure you don't need PDAs or are you saying this for her sake? What you can tell her is that you didn't apply this rule in the past but you think you can do it now, if she prefers so. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (20 August 2010):
 I wouldn't say anything. Its generally best to not tell your sexual history with your new partner unless you know for sure that they will be able to handle what ever it is that you say. If it comes up in the future while you two are each talking about your pasts then maybe depending on her but otherwise it will probably make her feel like she isn't giving you what you need even if she actually is.
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