A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i was talking to this girl for about a month. she REALY liked me. and i was really into her too. we had sex a few times and we didnt use a condom one time. i ended up cheating on her with another girl. and the girl i was talking to found out. than she tells me that shes pregnant. and she wants an abortion and needs money. i make a lot of bad decisions especially in relationships and ive been called an asshole and everything many times. but now i just feel different. i dont expect any sympathy but i just feel soo sorry for the girls that i played. and if shes really pregnant...idk. honestly i dont even agree with abortion. but i guess its not my choice. at the time i was having sex i didnt want to use a condom for obvious reason bc of the feel. and i took the chance. and what i didnt want happen. idk what to feel. everything in my life at the time wasnt great. but it was good. and now this is just unbelievable. im not even shocked or going crazy. im just like w.e idk why. i dont even kno why im writing this. but i hope theres someone out tthere that understands..
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abortion, condom, money, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lexie22  +, writes (6 August 2008):
oh dear you have got yourself into a mess but at the end of the day everybody makes mistakes and at least you were decent enough to hold your hands up and admit that you were wrong. now you need to recognise where you are going wrong with these girls..nobodys saying you have to settle down with any of them but you do need to start taking other peoples feelings into account. now this girl whos pregnant..have you apologised to her? she may forgive you. do you want to take things furthur with her? have you talked about this baby because she may actually want to keep it but is saying she wants to get rid because you cheated on her and she just scared of bringing it up alone. you really do need to talk this through this is your baby to and you do have a say in it. theres so much you have to take into consideration..are you mature enough to look have a baby? but if you dont seriously think this through and she has an abortion you could live to regret it!! and for the love of god boy use a condom next time. let me know how you get on. lexie.x.
A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Part of being a man is being responsible for your actions.
Go with her to the clinic and pay for the abortion if that is what she wants. Both of you get checked for STDs. Did you have unprotected sex with the other girl too?
As you have found out the hard way, that moment of feel good can have a lifetime of serious consequences.
Best wishes xo
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A
female
reader, fortoner +, writes (5 August 2008):
well, it was a mistake, and there are ramifications, I am not judging you or her, but taking responsibility means there are a few things you should do.
First, find out if she is really pregnant. Not that I am doubting, just that some people lie, its a fact. Go to the Clinic with her, talk with the dr. about the options.
Second. Consider the alternitives. Like shandygirl said, it takes two. You can either help her through an abortion, help her though a pregnancy and adoption, or help her though raising a child for the next 18 years.
Finally, if you do choose an abortion look at the facts and costs first. Planned parrent hood has information about the types of abortions and the costs of them in your state. remember, it takes two... it is 50/50
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (4 August 2008):
 Hi,
you are writing this because you feel guilty at getting this girl pregnant. The blame is not to be rested solely at your feet, she should have insisted you use a condom ( and now you know for future use that having sex without a condom is dangerous) .
But all this aside you should at least help her pay for the abortion if this is her decision. Other than that you can say to her that if she is worried about supporting a baby you will at least do your duty and provide financial assistance to her if she keeps it. Which of course you would do as you are prepared to stand up to the consequences of having sex with a stranger without a condom.
Basically do the right thing by her, and the guilt will ease away as it does for anyone to take's responsibilities for their actions, but in future carry condoms and get used to them, its part of life these days.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (4 August 2008):
 It takes two to tangle, and facing the consequences shouldn't be a one way street.
If she is pregnant, you have to take acountability too. I am not being judgmental, everyone makes mistakes.
Go with her to the doctor to find out what is going on. YOU talk to the doctor too. Then do what you need to do. She should not be "in this" alone.
I am not implying that you should get back together with her, just be a good guy and go through this with her. Take responsibility for your actions.
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