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female
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anonymous
writes: Over the weekend just gone me and my boyfriend of nearly three years went to one of his best mate's weddings. I was so stressed about the day and buying an outfit before hand but we sorted that out and he helped me. We got to the wedding and it was a lovely day. He even smiled and held my hand tight when the lovely romantic love speeches were being done. Then as the evening went on and more and more alcohol flowed through us both - he went to get me a drink - this was very late on - (near the end) he left me sat at a table for ages on my own. When he came back I was angry with him and shouted and screamed at him once we got outside. I don't even remember what I had said as it was all beer. He took me home and left the next day saying he needs to think. I ruined his mate's wedding night, but am truly sorry. He has contacted me yesterday via text message stating that he was working away yesterday and would not get home till late so could not call me and stated sorry. He also asked me to stop texting him. Then he quoted "I will call you another time".Do you think that we will never reconcile this issue? I just need help to say sorry to him and get us back to what we had. I miss us terribly but not too sure if he does. Please help and give me advice. My head's in bits. thanks
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female
reader, Helen05 +, writes (2 August 2005):
Weddings are always difficult for couples. There is lots of alcohol and lots of pressure for you to be next! MAybe this is the reason you had all this emotion going on? I feel that your partner may have realised that he is either ready or not ready for the next step and is having to evaluate a lot of his feelings.
Send a card and some flowers to the couple apologising for your over indulgence, and forgive yourself for that. You also need to talk to your partner. Three years in a relationship deserves more than the silent treatment. I hope you feel better soon
A
female
reader, charliesgirl +, writes (2 August 2005):
It must be agonising for you at the moment, not knowing what the state of your relationship is. Your boyfriend is obviously angry at your behaviour, and is taking some time out to cool off before he speaks to you again. As heartbreaking as it is, you need to give him space.
Give him a reasonable time to cool off, say three days, and if he hasn't contacted you within that period, call him and arrange a time when you can discuss face-to-face the events of that night, and hopefully come to some resolution about your relationship.
However, what has worried me is the fact that you do not remember what you have said to him whilst drunk. His sudden shift in behaviour from loving boyfriend to coldness suggests that you must have said some harsh words on the wedding night. Almost all of us enjoy a drink or two in social occasions, which allows us to relax. But when excessive drinking jepordises your personal relationships or gets you into trouble, then you have to take an honest look at your alcohol consumption. Please do not think that I am suggesting that you have an alcohol dependency problem, but when your drinking interferes with your life and you aren't in control of situations it can be extremely harmful. This is an issue you will obviously need to discuss with your boyfriend, to reassure him that it will not happen again.
As hard as it is, hang in there and hopefully you and your boyfriend will sort out this problem.
All the best
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