A
female
age
30-35,
*oolchick99
writes:I have a HUGE problem. I have a great steady boyfriend of almost 4 months, and I'm pretty sure I love him. The problem is, one night i got really, really drunk (my first time drinking). I've always had a thing for my cousin who is a few years older and really goodlooking. One thing led to another, and we ended up having sex. This was about a month ago. I can't remember if we used a condom. My period is almost three weeks late now and I'm getting really worried. I've never had sex with my boyfriend, so this is a big deal.What if I had the baby? Would my boyfriend still support me? Would my family fall apart? Would the baby be healthy? Is it bad that I lost my virginity to a member o my own family? I'm too ashamed to tell my boyfriend or friends about this, please help me!
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condom, cousin, drunk, lost my virginity, period Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): Hiya,I can understand why your worried but the maon thing in this story is you,what I think is best is just to sit and think and work out what is best for you, the end of the day people make mistakes, take the test its the only way to be sure,
A
female
reader, michaelas2008  +, writes (11 July 2008):
ok look loseing uer vergnatiy to family memmber is big deal but if u r pregnety u can get one very cloes friend to go get a test for u and then go from there in tell ur mom or a cloeser family member in then go to health clneac to check if u really r and if u don't wont the baby then go from there
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A
female
reader, Torianne  +, writes (11 July 2008):
 You're young so your periods are still settling into a normal pattern anyway. But stress and anxiety do not help. Get a pregnancy test sooner rather than later to ease your worries.
My recommendations?
a) If its positive, you tell your cousin, then your folks. Then you tell your boyfriend. he has a right to know what has happened.
b) If its negative, hopefully you will relaxc and your period will come.
You need to address why you drank such a lot at such a young age and also, why was he so prepared to sleep with you when, lets face it, you were incapable of making a rational decision. I know most men do not take advantage but as someone more mature he should have realised you were under the influence of alcohol.
Please try not to let yourself get so drunk again till your body is mature enough to deal with it. I hope everything turns out ok for you.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (9 July 2008):
 With respect to what the anonymous reader wrote, she is perfectly correct that having sex with a cousin is not incest IN CANADA. In many states of the United States, however, such an act IS outlawed under the incest statutes.
It all depends on where you live.
Don't take anything you read here as solid legal advice.
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A
female
reader, 1a2b3c4d +, writes (8 July 2008):
Get a pregnancy test asap to determine weather or not you are.
Another explanation is that you could have a phantom pregnancy.This is when you imagine and make yourself there is something there and you rbody startts to think so.
Another is that your stressing that much and stopping your periods.
Go to your GP and check for any STI's
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A
male
reader, Dave_Monk +, writes (8 July 2008):
 Firstly I'd like to point out that not all me take advantage of girls. I think its totally wrong to pin all the blame onto the man. It really does take two to tango. Where not all bastards ya'no!Secondly you need to find out if you are pregnant. Then go from there. If you are, then the first person you talk to is your cousin. You both need to decide what to do from their.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (8 July 2008):
 Yes you have a problem. With a bit of luck your period is late because you're stressed, and not because you are pregnant. Go get a pregnancy test before you start panicking.
If the pregnancy test is positive, I would recommend talking to your cousin first then to your parents. There really isn't much other option. If he's older than you he should have known better.
As to your other questions, there is something like one chance in a hundred that the baby would have problems because of being cousins. Now that's a much higher risk than is you weren't related, which is why it's not generally recommended that cousins marry. But legally it's not incest in Canada - and if he's less than two years older than you then in Canada it's not statutory rape either.
You would be fortunate if your boyfriend stood by you - I think most wouldn't. Lets's hope it won't be something you need to find out.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2008): Having sex with your cousin is NOT incest, despite the fact many people think so. Cousins can be legally wed. Take a pregnancy test to reduce your anxiety and then think on what you really want out of life. Abortion is always your choice if the test turns positive (and there will be relief in knowing at least), or perhaps you don't want that. It is up to you. Open up to your best friend. You need her emotional support and wouldn't you be hurt if your best friend wouldn't confide in you? Together you can figure it out and you won't be so alone.As for your boyfriend... ask yourself how committed you are to him if you had sex with another, even when drunk. The latter is only an excuse, isn't it? Very few people are so drunk they do something that they would never do without alcohol. It just loosens their inhibitions. That is not meant to be judgemental. If you can live with yourself, fine. But remember if you are pregnant he might have an opinion of his own.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (8 July 2008):
 why would your boyf support you when it wouldnt even be his..and you cheated on him....with your COUSIN (incest). first things first, you have got to take a PG test - 3 weeks is a long time to be late.
and im sorry but you should be ashamed, your very young, you got drunk and you cheated on your boyf with your cousin. you dont love him and you should respect his feelings and tell him wat happened.
you also need to talk to your cousin, he should never have taken advantage of you like that, and could be arrested for statutory rape. this awful man needs to know wat he may have dont to you.
if you are pregnant, im sorry but you need to tell your folks. no matter wat decision you make they will inevitably have to be there for you.
email if you want to talk more, im sorry to sound harsh but you need to realise the mistake you have made. good luck xxx
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A
female
reader, kastheshizz +, writes (8 July 2008):
 girl its gonna be ok.
it happend to my sister she was 3 months late and it was because of stress and she did not end up pregnant. if you have to if your afraid its not the right thing to do but if you are pregnat then abortion.. i wouldnt choose it its up to you be honset to your boyfriend. take a pregnancy test. it will help. go to the doctor. just DONT be so stressed(:
i hope everythings ok.
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