A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I know there are so many questions asking about this kind of thing already, but I would like to ask for some advice or comments anyway. I'm a female, 22 years old and now living in the UK.Right now I'm having a bit of trouble identifying my sexual orientation. I have a boyfriend back in my home country, but what he doesn't know and I definitely can't let him know is that I also have interest in girls as well, though maybe not as much as in boys. Because of this I got into the Gay and Lesbian society at my college and I got to know this friend who I will call John. He is gay, and since his best friend who always went clubbing with him has gone home, two of us went out together more often lately. One night we came back and I stayed at his place, being quite drunk too.I have a habit of putting my hands on people I share the bed with. Not in an arousal way, just leaving my hand on that person's arm or chest, something like that. That night I laid my hand on John's chest and as I was falling asleep, I felt him turned to hug me more tightly. He started pushing his crotch against me, and then you know how it ended. I didn't regret or anything, but I just want to know that I shouldn't mention what happened, except he talks about it first, right? Both of us didn't have any awkward moment after that and are still friends.However, I made a mistake by consulting this to my friend. She started talking non-stop about how risky it was to have sexual intercourse with a gay man. That he is vulnerable to AIDS and HIV more than usual. He did use a protection, though earlier there were "fluid exchanging" like kissing and oral sex, but what this friend of mine kept talking made me a bit nervous. Is it that terrible?
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aids , best friend, clubbing, drunk, hiv , kissing, lesbian, oral sex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): Don't listen to what some are saying on here. Having unprotected sex with a gay man will increase your risk of getting aids.
HIV is far more prevalent in the male gay population (and intravenous drug users) than other population groups. Other STDs are common as well in this group, mainly due to the type of sex that is practiced.
Here are some tips, don't cheat on your BF (end the relationship first). Don't have unprotected sex, it is dangerous. Tell your BF, he has a right to know and to decide if he wants to continue having a relationship with you. Get tested for hiv.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): Hey all, thanks for all your comments and advice. Yeah I do know that I have cheated, and I do admit I have lots of confusion at the now.
First of all, I'm not sure whether I am a bi. I used to have a girlfriend, and now when I go out clubbing I can't help looking at some cute girls. I sometimes have fantasies about them. The other issue which gives me a pressure is my boyfriend. In his opinion, women going to clubs, smoking, having piercings, and drinking are bad women. Sex in his opinion is "missionary" and oral sex is something far too wild for him. He wants me to talk to him everyday on internet after class and go back home as fast as I can. My idea of travelling after I finish my study gives him a feeling that I don't wanna be with him anymore. He's gonna make a good husband, I know. But I don't want to get old knowing nothing about how it is like to go wild, to live an extreme life I'll remember when I get old. I don't want to let my life simply pass by like this: study-work-get married-have a baby-the end.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): anyone can catch and give you HIV, not just gay men etc. I personally like to get tested quite fequently just in case ... and if you are worried, i would suggest you do the same.
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A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 Yes, the risk is no higher just because he is gay. There is risk having sex with anybody which is why you should always use protection.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (11 May 2010):
Your friend is talking crap.
In the UK, a straight person is just as likely to have Aids as a gay one. The stats have changed.
If you used a condom properly then you will be fine.
Now you need to worry about what to do about the fact you cheated on your boyfriend!
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, CherryBoom  +, writes (11 May 2010):
what your friend said was and is plain IGNORANT!!!
EVERYONE is liable of having hiv/aids if there are not well protected!!!
it doesn't matter what sexual orientation you have.
the important thing is that you should use a condom or a femidom(female condom) .
so don't worry yourself about what she said.
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