A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey. Last week, I was having an ordinary conversation with a male friend of mine who I feel pretty close to. I made a comment that I felt sorry for a guy we both know as no one seems to like him very much. He told me quite sharply that I should never pity a guy, not even himself. I don't really understand why he said this and I'm not sure what he meant by it exactly. Anyone fancy telling me why he said this? And why you should apparently never feel sorry for a boy?Cheers! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): Saying you pity a guy is like saying a girl is fat. While women find derogatory remarks about their looks even the most minor comments to be extremely insulting, saying you pity a guy is basically commenting on his strength, basically calling him weak. That's how we're built biologically, women use looks to attract a mate and men use strength and power.
Weakness in a man isn't exactly an attractive trait.
Biologically we still haven't evolved past the hunter gatherer stage and that applies psychologically too.
A
female
reader, chicfrumdastix  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 to a guy, Pity is a BIG slap in the face. They have too much pride. they feel that is someone has pity on them, they r being seen as weak. Take pity on them, just dont tell them about it and all will be good.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 May 2010):
The mere suggestion that a man is weak is enough to make us feel bad. You can feel sorry for them, but don't say anything. As Emilyanswers says, we're odd creatures. Anything that makes us appear less manly and we'll run a mile.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (11 May 2010):
It's an insult to their man hood.
It's like if you open a jar they can't. It's just a jar, but these things matter to men.
Pity is a huge insult to them.
Don't try to understand, men are very very very odd creatures. Just learn the rules of what not to say to them, and then do what ever the hell you like when you are around girl friends.
Good Luck!! xx
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