A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone ..thanks for reading , Im in a spot here and I really dont know what to do ! I had always wanted to go to bed with one of those really BIG body builder guys at the gym , just watching them always got me aroused . Then one night at a party ( when my b/f was out of town ) I hooked up with this guy . Look his body was awesome , but the sex was average as I kept getting scatched by all the body hair he removes ..Any other girls know this feeling ? Anyhow I fullfilled my fantasy . Trouble is ..this guy has told people and the story is getting out . My b/f has confronted me ..I told him " no way " and said the guy was making it up . Complete denial .. But he does not believe me , I'm told my b/f I will not be providing him with sex , because I would feel like he is using me . But I want us to be together , at the moment its terrible , I really want sex but not while he doesn't believe my story . Can any girls think of a way out of this mess ? Im nearly to my Wits end . I feel terrible . Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mselu08  +, writes (21 February 2010):
Ok, let me get this straight. You cheated on your boyfriend for some fantasy. Then you lied to your boyfriend about cheating and now YOU are withholding sex from HIM because he won't believe your lie?? You are a disgusting, heartless person. And if you think your boyfriend should understand you fulfilling your fantasy, then tell him the truth. And when he lays it on your hotter sister, mother, or best friend, you should totally understand because it was just his little fantasy. A little piece of advice to everyone, treat others how you want to be treated.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Anyhow ..It was just one time with the body builder and although I did enjoy his muscles , the spikes from his body hair that he removed really prickled me .. I had to make him take me doggie in the end . So it was not really that good .
I had waited so many years to have one of these guys , I just had to have them , Id been lusting for too long .
Its happened so although I feel guilty , if my b/f wants to have Sex with me , he will have to just accept it , It only happened one time .
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A
female
reader, cls1990  +, writes (13 February 2010):
 If you think your boyfriend should understand then why did you lie to him about it when he confronted you? You just made the situation a whole lot worse! Now when you tell him that it did happen (i'm presuming you'll do the right thing and come clean?!) he will be even more hurt. Not only did you cheat on him, u then lied to him about it. And your saying you wanted it so he should understand. You wanted it so you got it, well done. Now deal with the consiquences.
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (13 February 2010):
 If I were your boyfriend Id just assume you were lying, and go bang someone else, storys like that dont generally just come about, what are you going to do when he gets the bodybuilder under his wing, brings him home, and asks you to tell him it never happened?? then your sure gonna be tounge tied! why would the bodybuilder lie about something like that? he already got the pussy, he's got no stake in your life, you on the other hand have every reason to be lying, because you are a liar!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): You lie to others and then complain that if you told the truth he might be "using" you? Who's using whom here, chum?
The path you are on has one outcome: Your boyfriend will figure out that you lie, eventually -- if not about this then something else. And then you will lose him. You are kidding yourself if you think otherwise.
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A
male
reader, Faraday +, writes (13 February 2010):
 Unacceptable reply from you, OP.
Imagine the outcry if the genders were reversed? The man would be pilloried for his actions as you thoroughly deserve to be.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): Hun you are a young beautiful queen, and this is YOUR body. YOU decide what you want to do with it and who shall touch it or not. If you had that desire to be with the body builder and got it fulfilled, fine. You should though have told your bf and he should have either accepted it or moved on if he can't help his insecurities. I am glad and proud of you for being firm enough to withhold sex with that jerk. Apparently he does not even deserve you and should be thankful you are with him.
Well, the above-mentioned was not exactly the truth!!!
TRUTH is you should come clean to your bf, ask for forgiveness on both cheating and lying, and in all honesty if I were your bf I'd never look at you again as gf-material, and if I was in love with you it would've been all gone immediately, along with the lost respect. Period. End of story.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question All the current replies are correct .....
But you must understand I have to withold , because I would feel like he would be just using me for Sex ..which I know he would be , because of what I did ..
You have to remember I have wanted one of these bodybuilders for years ..theres so many times I have been aroused ..... My b/f should really understand this .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): You cheated, then you lied. Now you are angry that your boyfriend does not believe your lies.
Then to top things off you are withholding sex from a guy who hasn't done anything wrong.
I'm sorry- am I missing something here?
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A
male
reader, Faraday +, writes (13 February 2010):
Do not use sex as a weapon; that's a mistake so many women make and it destroys relationships. You want it, but you are withholding it to punish him - reasonable?
And your reason for withholding? Because he doesn't believe your lies: why should he, since you ARE lying?
As your secret is out it would be better for you to come clean, own up, seek forgiveness and resume sex as part of a loving relationship which augments your relationship and not as a power-play.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): You cheated on your BF and then lied to him about it. All else is secondary to that.
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