A
male
age
51-59,
*dna56
writes:well where do i start,im 35 and been married for 16yrs,i have 3 children with my wife,i have worked away from home for the past 14yrs and i am away for long periods at a time,for yrs we have had fantasies about my wife being a slut,as of recently they are no longer fantasies but are true,she has had a threesome with me and a mate,sex with woman and picked up a lot of diferant men,next week she has arranged to visit an army camp with a number of soldiers!!ive told her i dont want her to do it,but she seems to convince me thats its a realy horny thing to do and makes me get off on it and while im getting off on it i say yes, after i change my mind then she says shes doing it anyway...help is all i can say
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female
reader, kittikat  +, writes (22 March 2008):
 That's why it's a fantasy, not reality! When people act out fantasies they rarely have the same type of allure as they did in your head. Well, I'd say most of the time. You need to be firm that this is making you uncomfortable, not only that, it's dangerous! Geez, STD's!! Uhmm, hello, some of them you can't just take a pill and forget about it! HIV? Hep B&C? Herpes? What about the crazy psychos and serial killers that are out there looking for some casual chick to come traipsing in? And, if she's messing with the Army, she's treading on thin ice. I'm an STD counselor for the US military and I'm telling you (it doesn't matter what country either), the world's military is responsible for the spread of almost all our our modern diseases! Who knows what she could bring home to your bed and your children!? Both Hep B&C have been known to infect household contacts- not just sexual diseases. I'm not a prude by any means and I've been in a similar situation as you, but you two have to be extremely careful, condoms are never 100%! And your emotional well-being is just as important as your physical health. If you're not cool with it anymore, don't let her manipulate the situation- I'm sure she really likes it as it can be fun. But it sounds like it's gone to far, especially if you're not down with it anymore and she isn't hearing you. Could you go to counseling together? That's a tough one alright, hope she understands. But you can't back down if it's what you want! Don't talk to her about it while you're having sex, our brains don't work right during those moments :-)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008): Hi mate,
sounds like ur in the same boat im in, my wife is also stunning, the differance is my wife has done it a number of times with men and women!!
it is a buzz and doesnt make any differance on how she is with me,
however, in my mind i know its a wrong thing to do, i have told her on a number of times that i dont want to do it anymore, she seems to think i'll be ok abt it once im turned on after shes done it, at the time im am then when imnot horny i feel like a scum bag lol.
At the moment its stopped and i feel a lot better, but now there is the doubt is she at it behind my back???
Its a dangerous game to mess about with, my advise is keep it a fantisy!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): my wife is stunning she gets loads of attention and it turns me on she has had a couple of near misses the guys backed out at the last minute.She has another guy coming round this week I said it was ok but i,m so woried.She says she loves me so why? I cant back out now we have fantastic sex and she says she will tell me all and it will be even better,she also says its just this once
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Fantasies are usaually better when they are just fantasies nothing more the reality isnt so glamourous and sexy and people usually get hurt, you need to sit your wife down and tell her exactly how you feel about it and tell her that you dont want this to happen again.
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A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x +, writes (29 January 2008):
 You really need to try to have a sit down, calm talk with your wife, explaining to her that yes, it was a huge fantasy previously, but looking back you can see that it should have stayed a fantasy.
I think maybe before speaking to her though, you need to plan ahead, write down all the reasons why you don't want her to do it, and practise being assertive. When you feel ready, ask if you can talk to her. Talk her through what you think, explain how hurt you would be if it continued, and point out that she's tasted what it's like, something most married women wouldn't have the oppurtunity to.
Tell her you love her, and that you want your marriage just to be you and her.
On top of that, try to spice up your love life, because after doing so many new things with other people, taming it back to just one person will seem very dull and boring, understandably as she won't have the excitement of a new body to play with. So in order to keep her satisfied, try lots of new things, experiment, ask her what really turns her on, start sex all over again.
I hope this helps a little.
Good luck.
x
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